Samuel Walton
Contents
Background
He started his life in Burnley General Hospital on 11th December 1988. He then returned home to Bacup where he began residence in a small terraced house in which he lived for around 8 years. During this time he attended primary school at St. Saviours Primary School in Bacup. He later moved house about 100 metres across the road to his current residence.
After failing his 11+ he suffered travelling to Haslingden High School every day for 5 years. It was here that he met Chris (which is now widely regarded as a bad move). Despite the traditional Race Wars and bullying he pulled through with respectable grades and made a none too firm descision to continue studying for A-level at BRGS Sixth Form. This has shown to be a good move.
Presently
Through Lower Sixth, Samuel studied Physics, English Combined, Art, Critical Thinking and Maths, enjoying the majority of his lessons, though despising the majority of his maths lessons.
This was reflected in his AS-level results, gaining C in Physics, D's in English and Art and U's in Maths and Critical Thinking. He was very proud with his maths result at having done so amazingly badly.
He then firmly decided Maths was a bad idea and gave up on the subject entirely and vowed never to study it again. He continued into A-level with his 3 remaining subjects along with gaining General Studies.
He is now having a much better time.
He is still a part of form CH, although much more time is spent residing in the Lower Common Room around the CD player and also especially with his girlfriend Kirsty Horbaczewskyj.
He generally insists on playing loud and/or heavy music on a daily basis, though sometimes he listens to more mellow music. It must be said that Samuel is a very reasonable fellow who will listen to people who wish to tell him about his taste in music and he will gladly accept other music. He is often seen larking around with Chris and other friends but he is also fairly quiet if nothing much is happening around him. He is a very fine person to talk to and will hold things in dearest confidence if they are so wished (confirmed very muchly by good friend Dani Mannion)
Samuel never appears to get stressed, this is because he has a very high tolerance level. If you want to get angry with him, he generally won't care or give you a second glance, but if you talk to him in a civilised manner, he is certainly more willing to hear it.
He loves to draw things, including his famous copyrighted Baked Beans. He also draws stick people, castles, fish, and bubbles. He is not shamed to say that he is good at Art from how many people have told him so. All he can say is that he tries his best. Samuel is also the proud owner of a caricature on the poster wall, the only one with a removable t-shirt and he is the reason for the Narnia drawing behind the locker door in the Lower Common Room.
Over the past year and so many months, Samuel has only entered the Upper Common Room a grand total of around ten times. This is not because he has anything against the place, it contains the canteen - this is quite obviously a good thing - he just prefers his place in the Lower Common Room, and generally has no need to use the Upper Common Room at lunch, as he ventures into waterfoot to enjoy chips and such.
Music
Over the past few years, his taste in music has gone from a very general liking of almost everything, he now has a more defined approach to what he prefers. This tends to be heavy music, that some would say has either a) no tune, b) no discernible lyrics c) both of these, or is just too plain heavy. But he does like other sort of music as well.
A general list being:
- In Flames
- Chimaira
- Opeth
- Led Zeppelin
- Disturbed
- Marilyn Manson
- Deathstars
- Linkin Park
- Santana
- System of a Down
- Rammstein
There are a great many other types, but those are Samuel's main ones. It is fair to say that the list mainly shows only heavy music, this is only because that is what he usually listens to.
Other bands/artists in his collection include:
- Prodigy
- Editors
- Moby
- Gorillaz
- Evanescence
- T.a.t.u
- Green Day
Admittedly, some of these are not liked by some other people.
Gigs
Sam admits that he has been to far few gigs in his time. This is most likely down to being shy, funny as it may seem, but that is very probably the reason. He has been with his parents to many of these, but thankfully also with friends to a good half.
Bands/artists he has seen - somewhere in the right order - are:
- Michael Jackson
- Elbow
- Longview
- Audio Bullys
- Basement Jaxx
- The Rakes
- The Editors
- Franz Ferdinand
- Eagles of Death Metal
- The Subways
- Angels and Airwaves
- The Strokes
- Foo Fighters
It must be noted that Sam is distraught at not being able to go to The Unholy Alliance Tour, which just so happens to be: In Flames, Lamb of God, Slayer, Children of Bodom.
The next list comprises bands that are not yet famous - though some of them really should be:
- Isolation
- Inflight
- Dead Mole Crickit
- Architect
- Eustacia Vye
- Joon
Interests
Presently fascinated by the phenominon that is Sentric Pool, Sam would very much like to play both versions. The second variation is highly appealing for there being a large chance of pain/injury/maiming/burning, lots of burning.
Poi/meteors - although becomning fairly good at these, there is a very high risk of bodily damage and/or other injury. On one occasion, Sam had a serious fight with the meteors resulting in extreme pain for several minutes. It is quite surprising that he was not rendered infertile in that bout. Some may recall the very first time Sam took it upon himself to learn the art of poi, during which both poi became entagled and swung down to hit Sam in a place no man wishes to be hit (much to the amusement of all present).
Sam also enjoys partaking in a lovely meal of tuna mayonnaise and baked beans. The same love of this 'strange' meal is also enjoyed by good friend Becky. One day they hope to have a dinner party serving only this fascinating dish.
He likes doing puzzles and jigsaws, especially ones with obscene amounts of pieces. They keep him occupied for hours. He has several at home, a couple have 1000 pieces; one of which, stupidly, is a galleon at sea with an overcast sky - it took him 4 months to complete the sky.
Samuel is the proud (also excited) owner, of a Lightsaber. It changes colour between red and blue. It makes lightsaber noises. Sam also made his own Jedi outfit, which made him very excited. It is a very nice Jedi outfit so Sam should be very proud of his sewing abilities.
Sam is also a dedicated geek along with Chris, Jono, Simon and Tom. They are very very special boys...
Sam is also the proud (and once again, excited) owner of a pair of NEW ROCKS! Times are good!
Curiosities
There are many strange things that occur around Sam, but recently, there has been an alarming number of people who have mistaken him for someone/something else.
- He has been mistaken for being female on numerous occasions. This would cause him to be a lesbian, which he definitely isn't.
- And also, on 12.10.06, he was told - by his form tutor Mrs Hudson - that he resembled Lawrence Llwellyn Bowen.
- Sam also has rather an unusual nickname. After suspect activities behind a wall at the eighteenth birthday party of Eleanor with Kirsty, Sam was awarded the title of Nympho de Fluff Fluff, which he has expressed his objections to. Also the choices of shaving off his beard or refraining from nympho activity with Kirsty
Pringle Master
- He is very proud of the fact that he holds the title of Pringle Master. This is similar to Kroll's Freddo Challenge, though the aim is to fit as many pringles - flavour doesn't matter - into one's mouth, and eat them all without dropping any bits, or being sick.
- The record is 16.
- Probably the sole reason that this record still stands is that no one is stupid enough to try it.
- He recently attempted 17, and failed, as he put "pathetically".
"I'm Hungry"
It should be noted that Samuel has a very large appetite and that he will eat almost, though not quite, anything. It has been said that the world will end if he gets full.
Some of the things he is more partial to are:
- Nik Naks
- Random Bags of sweets found in the Lower Common Room
- Cadbury's Cream Eggs
It has also been seen that Sam can eat unnaturally large quantities of things that really shouldn't been eaten such.
For example, once at a Physics convention, dough-nuts were provided at the interval. This turned out to be a big mistake for all the other students present. The department had only thought of catering for about 150 people or so to have one each, maybe two if you were lucky.
What they didn't expect, was Sam.
At the sight of so many trays of dough-nuts, his stomach sent a telegram to his brain to engage eating mode. He co-operated most well and preceded upon the bounty. The dough-nuts did not last long - to say the interval was only 20 minutes, and in a crowded convention - in such time he devoured a total of not one, not two, not three, nor even five, but twelve (12) whole jam-filled sugary dough-nuts.
It was a happy time.
Just so that everyone knows, Sam sticks reassuringly well to the 5 second rule and is not a complete scruff when it comes to the usurpation of unwanted food.
It is largely agreed that the day in which this boy is full... is surely the sign of a coming apocalypse.
Sam's House
This is one of the strange things that has happened to many people over the years. Samuel's house has become increasingly popular a) with people simply visiting, b) people coming to parties, and/or c) people staying over.
Points a) and b) are even more popular with gatherings taking place on an average of 1 every 4 months or so.
One of which is to be happening very soon in fact.
Some of the many things that have happened:
- The theft of Simon's camera - found in a kettle.
- The theft of Heskey's Strongbow - found with the empties.
- The theft of Simon's right trainer - found on the roof.
- The loss of Heskey - found under the computer desk.
- The do-ins scared out of Heskey by Chris flashing - he was not the same for some time after.
- Staying up to watch the sun rise.
- Dani Mannion finding a frog...and getting rather excited about it.
- Amazing amounts of nudity in general.
- Sam's parents been kept awake by Eleanor singing, and mentioning it every time she sees them.
- Fireworks that tried to kill everyone in the vicinity.
- Heskey stripping naked to greet Chi wearing only a leather trenchcoat.
- The theft of Heskey's jeans and boxers - the boxers went under cold water and then into the freezer.
- The removal of Fal's T-shirt - that ended up in the ice maker in the other freezer.
- General cross-dressing and clothes sharing.
- It has been noted that Sam's house does not look the same when one is sober.
Quotes
- "It's not an apple. It's a melon from an apple tree!"
- "Watch this, I can spell Onomatopoeia on a calculator!"
- "Ow, you walked into my face!"
- Dani:"How exactly do you break a pressure cooker"
Sam: "With a Haggis!"
- I can Kill someone With Poi!
