Matthew Hoyle

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Matthew Hoyle in Year 8 and is second to the right next to George Platt

Matthew Hoyle is in 07N. He is considered a legend by many people and was one of the few to invent the stealing bag game. Matthew Hoyle is a legend and has many nicknames as well as having his name chanted in the PE changing rooms.


Name: Matthew William Hoyle

Nicknames: Hoyley, Hoyle, Willie, Matt, Matty, Old Man Ken, Tin-Foil Hoyle, Mattias Goyle, Camponhoyle, Camps, Campon, Campy Boy, Hatthew Moyle, MH

Friends: Milton Ashworth, Luke Quigley, Matthew Lewis, Lewis Wood and Asanish Kalyanasundaram

Favourite Lessons: Science, History, Geography and English

Most Hated Lesson: Physical Education


  1. Considers chess a sport.
  2. Holds record for longest explanation of something at 67 hours 37 minutes.
  3. Gets the highest pitched voice in the class when angry.
  4. Only eats desserts from the canteen.
  5. Has read the entire dictionary!
  6. Attempted a back kick...but his leg got stuck on the radiator...
  7. Brown belt at karate?!
  8. Often became confused when putting his hand up in Maths, leading to some very funny moments.
  9. He seems to know everything about Science.
  10. Has made enemies out of some teachers because of his atrocious handwriting yet somehow gets really good exam results.
  11. Known throughout his year group for his amazing speed, especially during PE warm ups and has a facebook group: Matty Hoyle puts Usain Bolt to shame.
  12. A member of many clubs such as Legal Eagles and Chess Club. Also used to go to Warhammer Club.
  13. He once tried to join the debating society, until he found out it was for sixth formers only. Hoyley was GUTTED. Later however, the club opened up to younger members and Matthew was invited to attend, which he did.
  14. Used to use passwords that are easy to hack and unfortunately he also used to use the same password for everything...
  15. Once Paul Burdekin threw a pen at the wall and it exploded covering Matthew Hoyle's face and shirt in ink, he looked like he had joined the Brittania coconuters.
  16. Has an extremely heavy bag, shocking not only pupils but also teachers. People express concern for his back, but Matthew is convinced he'll be fine. Lets prove him wrong....

The Valentine's Rose

On Valentines Day 2010, Matthew Hoyle, along with Luke Quigley, mutually agreed to send a rose to a girl if the other did. Matthew Hoyle's was sent to Heidi Eaton. He later regretted doing this, as he was often teased by Mohammed Kouta over it. Luke Quigley sent his to Jess Hilton, and actually suffered more over the issue than Matthew did.


  • "MOHAMMED!!!!!!!!!!"
  • "OI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • "WTF !!!!!!!!"
  • "YES in syllables."
  • "Wellllll..." in a very scientific voice, at this point anybody near groans and stops listening.
  • "Idiot..."
  • "Owtch." (usually after an insult)
  • "That's what she says." (Often when it makes no sense)
  • "That just doesn't work." (When someone uses the above insult in the wrong place)
  • "Evil."