Difference between revisions of "Mr R Jackson"

Latest revision as of 20:16, 17 December 2010

Character

Mr Jackson is a teacher who teaches business studies and economics. His sets get some of the best results in the school. He is also addicted to caffeine.

Average Lesson

An average Mr Jackson lesson can be split into two parts:

• 50 minutes - Mocking

During this time, Mr Jackson will rant about his desired topic for a length of time, before finding a way to link it to something someone has done. Currently, those topics include Simon Allan's head boy statement, Michael Harmstone's "pond incident and Steph Schofield's height "issues". He has also recently taken to linking his lessons to moodle, in order to keep in the SMT's good books.

• 10 minutes - Intensive work

During this time, you will write faster than you have ever written before. He will shorten words, such as Demand (D), Supply (S), Government (Govt), Positive (+ve) and Negative (-ve). If you are not quick enough to write everything down, he will not stop, and will instead mock you for not being quick enough until you manage to get everything down at his pace. Whilst you copy down his notes, he will most likely down three of his coffees or count out his McDonald's free coffee vouchers in front of you.

Oasis?

He is said to bear an uncanny resemblance to Noel Gallagher from Oasis and for this reason has a cult following amongst certain pupils. Kirsty Wright (ex-pupil) was, and is, smitten. His effect on her was something like... bright red cheeks, hiding behind textbooks and many lusty outbursts, professing love and commitment to the jacko name.

Proposed Legendary Status

He is an absolute legend, and even though his students have a good laugh, they tend to do more work in his lessons than any other teachers - he should be appreciated! He actually can be quite confusing at times, but it stimulates you to find out what the hell is gong on all by yourself, and he makes you want to prove you're not thick. Nice one.

p.s. very good mates with the one like Mr Overend.

• What's happened to his cat?

• Mr Jackson has no friends (apart from Mr. Overend). For company he has cardboard boxes and his cat Blackie, but unfortunately he ran Blackie over in a tragic accident and killed him. He has a new cat Victoria who he has promised not to run over. **

Mr Jackson was once spotted with A woman in ASDA, who it is presumed, is actually his GIRLFRIEND. However, to this day, Mr. J claims the woman to be his MOTHER. The continuation of this metaphor; in which Mr. J consistently refers to his GIRLFRIEND as his MOTHER has, of course, resulted in some rather dodgy presumtions on behalf of members of the upper 6th. It must be noted that is is most likely that at such times, Mr jackson is simply demonstrating extensive sarcastic ability, and that there is no proof to compound rumours that the woman is both his GIRLFRIEND AND his MOTHER. Mr Jacksons friends include 2 boxes (with faces drawn upon them) and Orinoco Womble.

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Quotes

• "Fair Dues To You"
• "I dare say"
• "Pathetic"
• "But you won't understand that."
• "Jesus said in the parable of..."
• "Drop a couple of lines"
• "A good five/seven or eight line diagram"
• "oh thankyou, I shall take that home to my mother"
• Student: "did you go away at half term then sir?"
• Mr Jackson: "I did actually, i took my mother to Tenerife for a week. She loved it."

• (King)Rob Whitworth: "Sir, is Mr. Williamson in?"
• Mr. Jackson: "No, he's been fired"
• RW: (ignoring Mr. Jackson completely) "Mr. Godden, is Mr. Williamson in?"

• "You spend most of your evenings throwing chips at old people in Bacup, don't you [insert name of student to be mocked]?" - (Amended in 2010, replacing Bacup with Haslingden.)
• "I'm great, me" (mocking Simon Allan's Head Boy statement)
• "I can carry you through AS, because it's easy, but at A2, you have to put the work in!"
• (When the board says "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIR!!!!" on December 15th) "It's not my birthday - it's Mr Overend's birthday. Okay, it's my birthday..."