Eve White

Factfile

Form: 06N

Age: 16

Form Tutors: Year 7 and 8: Mr Parkinson, Years 8-9: Mr Chambers, Years 10 and 11: Miss Haslam

Is scared by: Meercats, German clowns that eat children and Rebecca Dawson.

A co-creator of The protein shakes game

She is left- handed, much to the annoyance of all her right-handed friends.

Knows probably the most blonde jokes out of everyone in her form... and yes she is a blonde.

Quotes

• (On a Tuesday)"Have we got any lessons today?"

• "BUZZ!!"

• "Stop buzzing me!"

• "Right, I'm going to stop following you now; I live in the opposite direction."

• "Is the vending machine meant to say "innit"?

• "That guy really looks like Matthew, wait... it IS Matthew!"

• "Well it sounded better in my head!!"

• "NEIIIIIN" (Screamed at anyone who tried to sell her anything on the 2009 Egypt trip)

• "I have an excuse- I'm BLONDE!"

• Eve: "Barney the Dinosaur... *rawr/grr*

Becca/ Becca/ Joseph/ Jess/ Matthew: "Barney the Dinosaur... ARGGH!"

• "Jess sush I'm busy doing nothing."

• "Get back over here and crtisise me, you little git!"

• (While a person is talking) "Yeah, right, of course, I agree, yes... WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO REALISE I'M NOT ACTUALLY LISTENING?!"

• "You know how you're my bestest friend ever..." (then asks for something or confesses something that will make the person she's talking to mad)

• Mr Whyte "What kind of Christian is it?"

Eve: "One that believes in God?"

• "Can I copy your science, I'll give you... Becca's pen!" (Becca steals her pen back) "Er... fine I'll steal your pen- and you can have it back when I have copied your work."

• Mr Parkinson: "And theres a clown... eating something"

Micah: like clowns do, what's it eating?

Eve: Children! Oh my God i knew there was a reason I didn't like clowns"

• "Becca... stop being such a VIOLENT child"

• "If I have to watch any more of this I will stick pins in my eyes and throw myself out of the fire escape"

• "Yes I'm stroking my beard, and no I don't actually have a beard."

• "Let's be daring- let's go down the... FIRE ESCAPE!!"

• "I AM NOT sucking my thumb!"

• "Anyone for a game of imaginary tennis?"

• "Hmm this is a hard one"

• "My fish is called Daisy the cow, if I had a cow I would call it Bubbles the fish, but I don't have a cow do I?"

• (Loudly) "But that's HOMOSEXUAL insest!"

• (While racing against Becca D) "HA! I'm going to beat you!" (Becca overtakes Eve) "No, DON'T YOU DARE WIN REBECCA LOUSIE DAWS- ow CRAP!" (Eve turns round just in time to see the fence as she crashes into it)

• Eve: "I have a blue eyebrow- be jealous"

Joseph: "I am"

Eve: "You should be"

(A few minutes later)

Eve: "Joseph...."

Joseph: "Yeah..."

Eve: "How do you get permanent marker out of your eyebrow?"

• "Smite!"

• Eve: "I'm telling you, the man-lady was hiding a can of fosters"

Miss Wilkes: "Hallucinating, again Eve?"

• "Sir... your a technical guy right? Well my watch is ticking backwards"

On Silver D of E

• Eve: (Loudly and angrily) "What's this?!"

Jacob: "That's bracken Eve..."

Eve: "What's it doing here?!"

• "Seriously, I woke up, and Inez had turned into a panda. I nearly wet myself and screamed."

• "Do you reckon we could cook that cat on our trangias?"

• Eve: "Ooooh is that the campsite? Look, it's moving!"

Joseph: "Yes Eve, we're staying on a moving campsite."

• "If you don't shut up, I will set your tent on fire."

• (On being asked why her group was so late back) "We got attacked by bears. No, of course we didn't really, that was a lie."

• Eve: "Do you think the first people to land on the moon had toilets? No, they didn't, they just peed on the moon."

Afnan: "Seriously?"

Joseph: "No, Afnan, she's clearly lying."

• "But Sir, the cat wants to be eaten; look, it's following us"

Barney the Dinosaur-ism

Barney the Dinosaur-ism is a new religion founded by Becca D, Becca A, Jess, Matthew and Eve in RS. Basically Barney the Dinosaur is the king of everything as you must talk to him. Barney-ettes are people who have been apointed by Barney to teach the ways of Barney. Barney-ettes have powers that include smiting people and controlling the weather. The five founders of the religion are all Barney-ettes and have said powers.

Strange things she's done

• Holds the record of drinking the most "protein" shake in Paris. Never wants to do it again, EVER!

• Once ate everybodys fruit peel for a bet. Never wants to do that again either.

• Fell over a Safety rail and broke 2 bones in the same arm and the dinner lady said "Someone go get a paper towel".

• Lay in a foot deep puddle to practise her swimming

• Took half an hour to remember the names of everyone in her form- the last 25 minutes were spent trying to get the 30th person, then she realised she'd missed herself off the list.

• Experimented with eye shadow, blusher and water to try and make foundation at Becca'a sleepover, then put it all over becca's face and she ended up looking like Mr Tickle. Then she tried to make it look better by adding bright green and bright blue eye shadow.

PE lessons

She has taken up telling a revised version of the story Shipwrecked every PE lesson, To the general annoyance of most of the people who get changed around her. So far, the unnamed people who have got lost are now on mars and have gone slightly mad drinking the mars water. They made two corpses kings and sent them home in the only escape. The avid listeners of the story are devastated that they will no longer be hearing the story as it is the holidays. However, there are certain people who star in the story, but are ungratful enough not to like it. These ungratful people throw things at Eve which is VERY unfair.

• I was one of the main characters but they killed me off!

Latest news- Shipwrecked the fourth has been born! Slightly more effort is going into shipwrecked the fourth, and everything possible is being done to make sure nobody is offeneded. Sadly, this isn't working, and many people would probably be offeneded by the content.