Matthew Hathaway

Matthew Hathaway, one strange fellow indeed, Brother to Adam Hathaway, and is currently ranked number 4 for edits on this wiki, the highest rank for a non moderator(cough cough, hint hint...). Due to his habit of wearing a cape on non-uniform days, hallowe'en and Fridays the 13th he is refered to as Capeman by a small group of worshippers whom he frequently tries to get rid of - newsflash! These have now abandoned matthew in favour of the one they call Guacamole Jeff

In a PSHE lesson Mr Vincent was asked to demonstrate the missionary position. He refused saying "I'd need a volunteer". Matt out his hand up, but despite much encouragement Mr. Vincent was too scared of the risk of losing his job.

In Doc Rob's last days Matt was seen to attempt to hug the legendary timelord.

Beliefs

• Believed to be, in fact, a Pirate.
• Also Believed to be a Ninja.
• This Leads us to believe he is also "Chris The Ninja Pirate" from the "Weebl and Bob" Series.

The Cape

On Hallowe'ens, Fridays the 13th, Last day of the academic year and Non-uniform days Matthew wears his Cape. He has also been seen twice wearing a waistcoat, and has asked Mr Ventress to teach him to tie a bow-tie.

Ninja

Matthew has attained ninja status with his impressive freehand fighting skills and impressive strength and weight for someone without any great height or bulk, and therefore is seen as a perfect ninja.

Ninja Skills Practised

• Taijutsu (unarmed combat)
• Bojutsu (stick and staff fighting)
• Shinobi-iri (stealth and entering methods)
• Intonjutsu (escaping and concealment)

Quotes

• WHAT IS THIS FAGGOTRY?! (used whenever something unusual, illogical or incomprehensible occurs. Can also be used as an insult.)
• FOOLISH MAMMALS! (used when smoeone makes a mistake)
• "Yar, Har, Fiddly Dee, being a pirate is alright to be! Do what you want cos a pirate is free! You are a pirate!" [1](Sung in strong "pirate" voice)
• "Screenshot or it didn't happen" (Referring to anything where proof is doubtable, hence needing visual confirmation)
• "Pissfreezing cold" (The weather)
• "I'm a dragon!" (Followed by strange noises) - now a discontinued phrase.
• HATBADGER!
• COCKMONGLER
• DOOMED!
• STICK YOUR HAND IN! (screamed at a video of david attenborough with his hand close to a rat-eating plant.
• HA! (in the same video David talks about a very painful nettle sting, mentioning the words poison and barb, and then proceeds to deliberately sting himself. A few seconds later he says simply "ow."
• "My bounce is too much for my bungy!"
• "Fromage Frais!!!"
• "But its the summering"(why he does not sit on the wall in summer)

It's impossible to remember all the random phrases, arguments,logic, gibberish, degree level Physics and exclamations he utters. he once managed to explain the amount of curve in space-time a black hole made in comparison to Pervy Joe