Mr Wyton

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Mr. Paul Wyton, became head of the Modern Foreign Languages department for BRGS in 2003 and has since then changed the year 7 compulsory language to German. He has also generally sorted out the language rooms, with posters of 'The Language Rules' and question words for French, Spanish and German. Wyton teaches French and German, German being his chosen subject of preference.

Mr. Wyton's middle name is Nelson. This is not a fact he wished to be disclosed, but was eventually discovered by the GCSE german set of 2004 - 2006 in early 2005, by Daniel Smith, with thanks from his son, Thomas. After realising what Tom was indeed mr Wyton's son, this was the first thing he asked him. This led to Daniel Smith translating 'Nellie the Elephant' into german, and then reciting it at least twice a lesson. For a year.

Mr Wyton's teaching style can be seen as odd yet very effective, his lesson would consist of stupid voices; odd hand gestures (all clean of course); a jesting insult to one or two of the clever members of the class he is teaching and will also include someone trying to think of a word he doesnt know in German. This has become an outstanding ambition for one of his current year 11 classes - ever since year 9. He was once, very nearly, caught out by "Sweets Van". He actually was caught out in 2007/2008 by 9R, more specifically Nicola Atherton by the word 'Chipmunk'. Several lessons later he reported back saying it meant Bachenhoren, but we aren't too sure where this came from.

Make him say 'chewing gum' in French. It's hilarious.

Also, make him sing the alphabet in German in an army chant style, it has been a favourite of the 2006-2007 Year 10 for the past 3 and a bit years.

A group of year 7 pupils in 2007/08 discovered that if you break the lock of his cupboard, and stand on his egg sandwich and blow up his banana he will get VERY annoyed at you. They learnt this the hard way.


Even thought the title says tattoos plural, that may not be completely true, for as far as I know he only has the one, ring around his arm in an old english/nordic style; most people do not know this, but it is visible on his arm when he rolls his sleeves up for period 4/5 lessons on hot days.

It has been revealed, from a very reliable source, that the nordic ring does indeed exist, yet there is also a second. On the right arm, a tattoo, something unintelligable, with two sixes to follow it.

Personalised German Techniques

Spooky story

While the intake of 2008 were in Germany on their school trip, after the talent show Mr Wyton decided to tell a spooky story. It finished with him Scaring the life out of everyone and one poor individual toppling backwards off the chair they were sitting on.


  • "how can i make you do your homework alex?! I can't shout! you are twice the size of me and will beat me up! Maybe i should do something to your mother?" - said to Alex Blow in a year 13 german. lesson.
  • 'I'm stood here earning my money'
  • (After asking a relatively non-difficult german question and no one knows the answer) 'Hilfe!' (raising his own hands)
  • 'You know what you are?' (prolonged silence) (then shouting) 'You're a Lying Get!!!'
  • And even on one occasion in June 2006 after Tom Sheridan (year 10) has entered after one of his usual lesson avoiding excuses 'You know what this is...*popping noise*, no

really do you know what this is...*another popping noise* 'Its your head coming out of your ass!!'

  • I'm really gonna ask you to put the ice clamp on now
  • Fashion me a sentence
  • Get your brain in gear
  • Ice cream van pulls up at the bottom of the hill on 6th form leavers day and yr 11 can hear the music

Student 'whats that noise?'

Another student 'its the 6th formers'

Wyton 'oh yes. One of the 6th formers has dressed up as an ice cream van!'

  • "Malikkkk... Malikkk......? And there goes Malik rolling down the hill..."
  • During a lesson when Mr W. has lost his voice, explaining what "fluchen" means*

Mr W.: *Makes hand gestures and weird, squeaky noise*

Student: Do it again sir

Mr W.: *Makes hand gestures and weird, squeaky noise*

Student: One more time sir

Mr W.: *Makes hand gestures and weird, squeaky noise*

Student: Once more sir

Mr W.: OK, now you're just taking the piss

  • "Say you have an object, like a leather whip for example....."
  • Let's unpack this answer"

crow bar me some trendifiers in

  • Look at page 87 of your textbook, and look at the passage on the right hand side, i don't know who the picture is of, some knob"
  • (After telling a really bad joke to the current Y11 German set) ok stop being a dick sir get on with it

"(To 8N after we destroyed room 89): This is MY classroom, not a playground for you fools- get out and clean it up!"

  • (To 8N) Hurry and make this classroom a learning environment!