Patrick Barlow

Form: 08B

Gender: Male

Parick used to be the smallest boy in 08B, but what could possibly be called a growth spurt has made him about the fifth shortest boy in the form. No-one seems to have noticed this height change and people treat him as if he is the shortest in the school(which he never was). He is quite often joked about or made fun of because of his height. He usually responds to this with feeble insultes(Half of these include swearing). He says he started swearing at the age of 2, which explains how more complex insults and forms of swearing have developed. When he gets jelous or annoyed at someone he tells them to go away or something about them that is almost always a lie. Such as this one he often says to William Platt, "Go away, you've got less friends than me, and I haven't got any". The part about Patrick having no friends is true, but the rest is bogus. Firstly, it is impossible to have less than no friends and William has at least 3. Another of his traits is to go up to someone and throw or flick something in their eye when they are not expecting it(mostly elastic bands)from half a metre and run away. Then the victim picks up what ever it was and is about to throw it back at him from a metre away and Patrick says "That's way to close, I'll tell miss if you do that." He hits people's heads for no reason. His biggest target is probably Josh Southern, Patrick calls him unpleasant names such as "Fatty". Patrick also thinks Rebecca Leyland is a ninja, probably just because she is quiet, like a ninja is silent but deadly, no evidence has yet been found to prove she is deadly!

Jokes about Patrick's height

• Jack Mc: (about to kick a football)"I'll try to hit someone's head." (he kicks the ball and it rolls along the floor) Other pupil: " That wasn't near anyone's head." Jack Mc: "I was aiming for Patrick"

• Patrick:"Say that again and I'll punch you in the face" Other pupil: "You won't even be able to reach."

• "Why does Patrick play badminton, he's too short, even the rackets are taller than him."

Sense Of Humor

Patrick likes to practice his unusual voices and tell rude jokes. Some people find him very funny. Kelsey-Jo Loney Laughs at almost everything he says.

Patrick's Obsessions

Patrick is obsessed with Airsoft Guns. So far, on every school trip with shops, Patrick has bought at least one gun. He thinks he is really tough because he goes to Army Cadet Force and has lots of Airsoft Weapons. He told Ivan Rhodes to bring a gun in. Ivan was caught after Mr Morris saw Elliot Irving using it in the boys changing rooms.

Patrick's other obsession is bikes. Rumor has it he had a custom made one made that is small enough for him to climb on to. He sometimes rides his bike to school. He has 1 bike magazine that he sometimes brings in. It has bike frames for £500 (what he calls a reasonable price, even though whole, good mountain bikes can be bought for less than £200).

Quotes

• "Shut up!"
• "Go away!"
• "You've got no friends."
• "Do one!"
• "That's not funny, my brother's got epilepsy"
• "FAIL!"
• "WAY!"
• "Ninja skills!"
• "That's what she said!" (usually after something like, "Oh no, my fly's undone.")

iPod

Patrick is one of the iPod group in 08B. Unlike, everyone else with an iPod, he uses his worst applications more than the other applications. He can often be seen playing Solitaire, Racer, Bubble Shooter, and anything with guns. He has apps that are just pictures of guns, they aren't even three dimensional!