Mr Haycocks

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Mr Haycocks had a wide and varied history at BRGS, from English teacher to Head of IT, from Head of English to Webmaster. In his current incarnation, he has filled Doc Rob's King-Sized boots when the grandmaster himself retired at the end of 2007. A king amongst Teachers making English tolerable again.

Secret Lemonade Ginger

Despite many years of cultivating a darkened 'do, it is known to some of the more wily BRGS students that Don Haycogrio has a not-so-dark secret: he's ever so slightly redheaded. This is only slightly obvious by his dyed, jet black hair and outrageously ginger sideburns.

Quotes

• "Adam where is your brain? Still in Robert's crotch?"

• To woman in The Jolly Sailor: Don't be a stranger.

• To Heskey in English Language lesson: James, may I just say that you are looking sexual today.

• While handing a student a funsize Cadbury Fudge: Here you go Lewis, go and pack yourself full of fudge

• Maybe Romeo was thinking with his little head rather than his big head, but don't put that in your coursework

• Said with ruler down his pants to illustrate opening scene of Romeo and Juliet, Me they shall feel while I am able to stand, flipping the bendy ruler which was down his pants open... He then spotted a flexi-ruler and exclaimed, This would have been better!.

• Appearing behind Heskey & Wez: Ah my two favourite students, it's like sex on four legs!

• There are lots of ways to seriously disturb a child (Talking about playing peek-a-boo)

• For the last five minutes we'll do solvent sniffing

• Friday night I dress up in a nappy and a dummy and go down to a fetish club and have a whale of a time(When someone commented on how much he seemed to enjoy making the baby noises)

• Would you go and rub off the penis please Heskey? (Referring to a penis drawn on the door-window between Room 74 and 83.)

Mr Haycocks: "I have 34 frogs in my pond"
Al: "You sat and counted them?"
Mr Haycocks: "Yeah!"

• My favourite musical as a child was The Sound of Music... I really should have been gay.

• Did you know that a certain scientist believed all adopted males would find it kinky to get it on with their biological mothers? ...I'm adopted.

• In an American accent: Afta: I've 'ad ma brother, Ah'll 'av sex wi' the chickens!

• Oh Jade, I could just thrust my tongue down your throat - but that'd be very inappropriate!

• Gazza - Tell us about your kok! (Discussing the phonology of children's words. kok being the phonological spelling of the word the child was attempting to say)]]

• Up against the wall please Heskey. (Taking pictures for the 'Little Shop of Horrors' programme)

• [computer in classroom isn't working]

Al: Treat it like a lady sir! Mr Haycocks in odd purring voice: Oooooo, come on (stroking the monitor lovingly)

• Student: All this talk of cream is making me feel hot.

Mr Haycocks: Save it for later Student: You mean for you, don't you sir? Mr Haycocks smiles and nods enthusiastically.