Difference between revisions of "Mr Haycocks"

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Mr Haycocks has had a wide and varied history at BRGS, from English teacher to Head of IT, from Head of English to Webmaster. In his current incarnation, he is warming up to fill [[Doc Rob]]'s King-Sized boots when the grandmaster himself retires at the end of 2007.
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[[Image:Haycocks.jpg|thumb]]
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Mr Haycocks had a wide and varied history at BRGS, from [[English]] teacher to Head of IT, from Head of English to Webmaster. In his current incarnation, he has filled [[Doc Rob]]'s King-Sized boots when the grandmaster himself retired at the end of 2007. A king amongst [[Teachers]] making [[English]] tolerable again. He left at the end of the 2009 - 2010 term.
  
 
==Secret Lemonade Ginger==
 
==Secret Lemonade Ginger==
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Despite many years of cultivating a darkened 'do, it is known to some of the more wily BRGS students that Don Haycogrio has a not-so-dark secret: he's ever so slightly redheaded.
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Despite many years of cultivating a darkened 'do, it is known to some of the more wily BRGS students that Don Haycogrio has a not-so-dark secret: he's ever so slightly redheaded. This is only slightly obvious by his dyed, jet black hair and outrageously ginger sideburns.
  
 
==Quotes==
 
==Quotes==
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*"Adam where is your brain? Still in Robert's crotch?"
  
 
*To woman in [[The Jolly Sailor]]: ''Don't be a stranger.''
 
*To woman in [[The Jolly Sailor]]: ''Don't be a stranger.''
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*To [[Heskey]] in [[English Language]] lesson: ''James, may I just say that you are looking '''sexual''' today.''
 
*To [[Heskey]] in [[English Language]] lesson: ''James, may I just say that you are looking '''sexual''' today.''
  
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* While a student was deciding whether to have a 6" or 12" sub in Subway San Francisco, "Three Inches is enough when you are bent over in the showers of Alcatraz"
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*While handing a student a funsize Cadbury Fudge: ''Here you go Lewis, go and pack yourself full of fudge''
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*''Maybe Romeo was thinking with his little head rather than his big head, but don't put that in your coursework''
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*Said with ruler down his pants to illustrate opening scene of Romeo and Juliet, ''Me they shall feel while I am able to stand'', flipping the bendy ruler which was down his pants open... He then spotted a flexi-ruler and exclaimed, ''This would have been better!''.
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*Appearing behind [[James Hesketh|Heskey]] & [[Wesley Pauline|Wez]]: ''Ah my two favourite students, it's like sex on four legs!''
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*''There are lots of ways to seriously disturb a child'' (Talking about playing peek-a-boo)
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*''For the last five minutes we'll do solvent sniffing''
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*''Friday night I dress up in a nappy and a dummy and go down to a fetish club and have a whale of a time''(When someone commented on how much he seemed to enjoy making the baby noises)
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*''Would you go and rub off the penis please [[Heskey]]?'' (Referring to a penis drawn on the door-window between Room 74 and 83.)
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Mr Haycocks: "I have 34 frogs in my pond"
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[[Alex Hargreaves|Al]]: "You sat and counted them?"
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Mr Haycocks: "Yeah!"
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*''My favourite musical as a child was The Sound of Music... I really should have been gay.''
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*''Did you know that a certain scientist believed all adopted males would find it kinky to get it on with their biological mothers? ...I'm adopted.''
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*In an American accent: ''Afta: I've 'ad ma brother, Ah'll 'av sex wi' the chickens!''
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*''Oh Jade, I could just thrust my tongue down your throat - but that'd be very inappropriate!''
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*''[[Gareth_Ashworth|Gazza]] - Tell us about your kok!'' (Discussing the phonology of children's words. ''kok'' being the phonological spelling of the word the child was attempting to say)]]
  
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* While handing a student a funsize Cadbury Fudge, "Here you go Lewis, go and pack yourself full of fudge"
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*''Up against the wall please [[Heskey]].'' (Taking pictures for the 'Little Shop of Horrors' programme)
  
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* "Maybe Romeo was thinking with his little head rather than his big head, but don't put that in your coursework"
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*[computer in classroom isn't working]
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Al: Treat it like a lady sir!
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Mr Haycocks in odd purring voice: Oooooo, come on (stroking the monitor lovingly)
  
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*"Get some pubes" whist the perryscope and his trust followers are being pillocks in  his class.
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*Student: All this talk of cream is making me feel hot.
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Mr Haycocks: Save it for later
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Student: You mean for you, don't you sir?
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Mr Haycocks smiles and nods enthusiastically.
  
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*Said with ruler down his pants to illustrate opening scene of Romeo and Juliet, "Me they shall feel while I am able to stand", flipping the bendy ruler which was down his pants open...He then spotted a flexi-ruler and exclaimed, "this would have been better!".
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[[Category:Past Teachers|Haycocks, Mr]]
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[[Category:Teachers|Haycocks, Mr]]
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Latest revision as of 16:58, 24 November 2010

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Mr Haycocks had a wide and varied history at BRGS, from English teacher to Head of IT, from Head of English to Webmaster. In his current incarnation, he has filled Doc Rob's King-Sized boots when the grandmaster himself retired at the end of 2007. A king amongst Teachers making English tolerable again. He left at the end of the 2009 - 2010 term.

Secret Lemonade Ginger

Despite many years of cultivating a darkened 'do, it is known to some of the more wily BRGS students that Don Haycogrio has a not-so-dark secret: he's ever so slightly redheaded. This is only slightly obvious by his dyed, jet black hair and outrageously ginger sideburns.

Quotes

  • "Adam where is your brain? Still in Robert's crotch?"
  • While handing a student a funsize Cadbury Fudge: Here you go Lewis, go and pack yourself full of fudge
  • Maybe Romeo was thinking with his little head rather than his big head, but don't put that in your coursework
  • Said with ruler down his pants to illustrate opening scene of Romeo and Juliet, Me they shall feel while I am able to stand, flipping the bendy ruler which was down his pants open... He then spotted a flexi-ruler and exclaimed, This would have been better!.
  • Appearing behind Heskey & Wez: Ah my two favourite students, it's like sex on four legs!
  • There are lots of ways to seriously disturb a child (Talking about playing peek-a-boo)
  • For the last five minutes we'll do solvent sniffing
  • Friday night I dress up in a nappy and a dummy and go down to a fetish club and have a whale of a time(When someone commented on how much he seemed to enjoy making the baby noises)
  • Would you go and rub off the penis please Heskey? (Referring to a penis drawn on the door-window between Room 74 and 83.)
Mr Haycocks: "I have 34 frogs in my pond"
Al: "You sat and counted them?"
Mr Haycocks: "Yeah!"
  • My favourite musical as a child was The Sound of Music... I really should have been gay.
  • Did you know that a certain scientist believed all adopted males would find it kinky to get it on with their biological mothers? ...I'm adopted.
  • In an American accent: Afta: I've 'ad ma brother, Ah'll 'av sex wi' the chickens!
  • Oh Jade, I could just thrust my tongue down your throat - but that'd be very inappropriate!
  • Gazza - Tell us about your kok! (Discussing the phonology of children's words. kok being the phonological spelling of the word the child was attempting to say)]]
  • Up against the wall please Heskey. (Taking pictures for the 'Little Shop of Horrors' programme)
  • [computer in classroom isn't working]

Al: Treat it like a lady sir! Mr Haycocks in odd purring voice: Oooooo, come on (stroking the monitor lovingly)

  • Student: All this talk of cream is making me feel hot.

Mr Haycocks: Save it for later Student: You mean for you, don't you sir? Mr Haycocks smiles and nods enthusiastically.

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