Mr Morriss

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Mr. Morriss is a Biology Teacher.

In assemblies, Mr. Morriss is renowned for eating cat food and climbing through holes in postcards.


Mr Dave Morriss is a kick-ass Bassist and has been playing for many many years. He owns two bass guitars, one of which he built himself (a fretless one). He is also well known to Upper Sixth Biology students as making up the 'meiosis mamba;' a worthless but humorous and noble attempt to make lessons more interesting.

His name is not actually pronounced "Morreeees", but "Morris". This pronunciation must have come about to avoid confusion with the Headmaster, so you can imagine the disappointment when the school nominated another Mr Morris to take over.


  • "Sh Sh Sh Sh Shhhhhhhhh"
  • "Is anyone here doing physicists?"
  • "Call me Dr Morriss!"
  • "Lets bash on!"
  • "I don't like to rely on PowerPoints and Printed Handouts"
  • "Are we all looking at the Powerpoint??"
  • "Do we all have one of these handouts?"
  • "I'm not marking it until I get a full set"
  • "If I wanted to put something inside you, how would I do it?" (referring to medicines, apparently)
  • "Now if you don't want to be on the video just wave"
  • "I'm going to have to ask for people to volunteer to talk on the video otherwise there are just going to be 3 minutes of people waving"
  • (After talking to Kroll about the infamous Kroll stickers) "Now I know you're not stupid enough to put them up yourself"
  • "Now, look! I shouldn't have to shout at Year 13's like this! You were all badly behaved in last week's assembly and I put that down to the fact that Mr Elkington wasn't here, and it was windy outside!!" (In an attempt to restore order to the Year 13 Assembly; merely resulting in a chorus of laughter)
  • "Why do mushrooms have lots of friends???..... because they're a fungi (fun guy)"

Also known as...

  • Slideshow Bob