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- "When you start talking to your mates about Wayne Rooney, John Terry and Rob Green, maybe not Rob Green, but the others, you instantly become cool. (Summer 2010, after England Vs USA football match)
- "I'm thinking jeans. I'm thinking rips. I'm thinking... no."
- "Would you like to taste this jellybean?"
- "If you're on my board, you aren't in trouble I just need to see you."
- "Right then lets make a start."
- "I don't normally have to wait for you..."
- "I'm told nobody listens to me, so here is someone you will listen to...trying to supplant me again John?" (in assembly)
- "This is the last deadline to send in your UCAS forms."
- "I'd just like to remind you that these assemblies are a vital forum of communication."
- "Tom, that was awesome."
- 'For those of you receiving the vast, wide reaching benefits of the EMA payment scheme...' (every single assmebly)
- "Yes, I do go to Kay Street Baptist Church."