Matthew Roles

Age: 13

Form: 09G

Name (just in case you forgot): Matthew Roles

Nicknames: Spartanmatty (Xbox Live Gamertag), Spartanfatty (cruel play on words on said gamertag, but Matthew's fine with it), Sausage (only by Alfie Taylor of 09R).

It is debated with Matty that his last name is Rolez, not Roles. He claims it to be Roles, but his illegible handwriting makes it seem like Rolez. However Mr Hoyle has adopted to callng him Rolesy.

Extra-Curricular

He often goes to homework club after school - never to do homework though. He always plays on games, mainly on physicsgames.

BRGSWiki is NOT responsible for the contents of external sites. Continue at your own risk.

Favourite Jokes

He can't resist laughing at the words cabbage and american (pronounced a-merry-can, from question 4 of 'The Impossible Quiz 2'). He also finds the jokes on the atheist jokes website amusing. No-one knows why.

Hobbies

He plays Cricket as a wicket keeper, plays Football with his friends at break and is seriously addicted to Halo, although not as addicted as Alex Chudoba. He has now also become addicted to the game Minecraft (a sandbox indie game) and says that this is the reason he doesn't play on the Xbox 360 as often as he used to because it gives him a way to seem to do homework but not be doing it which he can't do on the Xbox 360

Music

He likes the music from www.chickenonaraft.com (how long can you last?). He hates music by Rihanna and Taylor Swift, and is also not a fan of the song 'If I Die Young' even though he has made many references in the past to killing himself. He basically hates any song which isn't Oasis. Or Gorillaz. Or Selena Gomez and the Scene - he has been caught many times singing along to 'Naturally' when alone in the form room, even though he is actually a die hard rock fan.
He also has developed a sudden obsession for Minecraft and HALO songs on Youtube

BRGSWiki is NOT responsible for the contents of external sites. Continue at your own risk.

Friends

He is good friends with most of the people in his class except Helen Clements, for reasons that most people in 09G know about.

He also hates people from France and Rochdale which makes no sense because his girl best friend is Olivia Bonsall. Coincidentally, Matthew is also infatuated with her, although we're sure this has no bearing on his opinions of these two places...

Xbox 360, Nintendo and hatred of Apple & Sony

It is a well known fact that Matthew is a keen gamer, but will actually vomit if the PlayStation is in anyway mentioned unless being slagged off. He often discusses Halo with his friends as it is his favourite game, although he also likes the Gears of War trilogy. He often refers to the founder of Microsoft, Bill Gates, as Uncle Bill, despite the fact it is well documented that in fact the two are not related in any way.

It was rumored that he was the hacker behind the PlayStation Network but when it came apparent that he couldn't hack his way out of a paper bag the rumor was immediately retracted. Instead, rumours began circling that Jamie Hoyle, who also doesn't like PS3's, a proficient web designer who can hack, had taken down PSN. To this day, Jamie has neither confirmed nor denied claims that he is the source of the hacking.

Matthew also has a hatred for Apple and any products made by them, much to Jamie's disgust as he is an appleite (who can't actually afford any Apple products except his trusty 2nd gen iPod touch). When asked why he hates Apple, Matthew mumbles something about "Uncle Bill" and the inspiration behind the Apple logo. It's too bad that he has probably never heard of Clarus the dogcow, if he had you'd be able to say "MOOF" to annoy him every time you see him.

Finally, Matthew has fallen out big style with Nintendo as they only released Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of time of Time on the 3DS, not on regular DS, much to his friends' amusement.

Hair Do

Matthew is famous for having the best mullet in the school, it is a hotly debated subject and has come into some controversy recently regarding whether it is actually a mullet or not. It's really more of a 'hair don't'.

He needs to stop writing about himself.

Quotes

• "They hate me... "
• "Oh dear.." (sarcastically)
• "How bad..." (sarcastically)
• "(TRO)LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL..."
• "My roflcopter goes SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI..." (repeated until James Mitchell tells him off)
• "ZOMG! BEAST!"

Cricket Sledges

Matthew also has a talent for Cricket sledges - some of his best are listed below!

• More leaves than a tree
• More dots than a dot to dot
• Big swing no ping
• More misses than Henry the Eighth
• Seatbelts lads, this guy can't drive

Also, Matty generally makes dispersing remarks about any Cricket player he plays against, including the good ones.