Janet Helm

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With Doc Rob introduced Critical Thinking to the school and co-wrote the textbook still used by year 10s and 11s in Geography. Retired on the 20th July 2007 after amassing 22 years at BRGS, teaching thousands of pupils everything you could ever want to know about Geography. And Nigeria...

Also renowned for her apparent hatred of trees, as proved by the completely unreadable and somewhat irrelevant photocopied booklets handed out EVERY lesson. These often consisted of thirty seven pages with a micro-paragraph on each one - single-sided of course.

She is also grandmother to Thomas Helm in Year 9.


"e.g Nissan"

"Foreign TNC's; Well they would have to be foreign..."

"etc etc"

"Line up and get a hot DOG" (with stress on the "dog")

"The photocopier's gone wrong again" (her excuse for printing 48,000 blatantly wrong worksheets)

"Eeahh" (This sounds a bit like 'yeah', and is said at the end of a sentence to emphasise a point, usually accompanied by a big grin).

"I'd do an e.g. there if I were you"

"When I was in Nigeria/Leicester..."

"Its perverse... it's weird" (referring to 9G boys cross dressing at Year 9 Camp)

"Oi!" (v.high pitch)

"Quiet down now"

"What's all this fusssing"

"The rrrrrrrreason for this"

"Shh, now then class..shh! its clear that the..Shh! answe...shhhh! to the quest...shhhh! is...shhhhh! D...Shhh!! The reason...shhh! for this is that shhhh!"

"It's past 9 o'cock"