A Short Biography and Comment
Having started messing with his first computer whilst in the womb, David has built for himself a reputation of technological excellence, sporting competence, and social pass-ability. His work with Windows 3.1 left half of the house's computers in dissarray. Unfortunately, the house had only one computer, and he had been messing with his parent's account at the time.
He arrived at Bacup and Rawtenstall Grammar School in the September of 1999, and befriended two individuals in his form, with whom he founded a fledgeling (later discovered to be untenable) computer software company named MDE Studios, and produced his first commercial program under the title Meldeldamel. A string of other programs followed using Microsoft QuickBasic, before being superseded by a fascination with HTML and the internet infrastructure, knowledge leading eventually to the link clipse.hopto.org media empire. Notable projects of Clipse have been the 00013-700 (pronounced Oodle-too) random number generator, the Phoxophrys Photo Archive, and on one occasion, an email program where the sender could choose any email address to put in the "From" field of an email message, except David's own address.
Having achieved an EP in Key Stage 3 Science, the scene was set for his astronomical GCSE grades to the tune of 9 A*s. Throughout his sixth form life, David methodically learned a great deal about mathematics, catching up to within nine months of Josh Cadney's capacity by January in his Upper 6th Year.
Socially, David relies out of hours heavily on the internet, but shares real life social connections at Rossendale Valley Sounds where he is an adept tuba player, famous for his powerful rendition of Bourgeois' Rondo Grottesco as a soloist. His reliance on the internet, and the symptoms produced in his appearance and demeanour were the inspiration for the following passage, which some would argue could be an accurate projection of things to come, if his behaviour remains unchecked.
"From the back, the man’s hair was a foray of non-existence. Like a forest of mist, light was refracted through with a certain vaporous feeling as it emerged out the other side. When he turned his head to look into the dreary mists every few minutes, the sheer brilliance of his skin was uncanny. He was no albino; the pigments in his skin were just in deep hibernation. His eyes were shimmering blue, gleaming from his face, all seeing. The lights in the room seemed to be troubling him. His clothes were slick, smart but casual. His unadorned hands were as white as his face from the tips to the wrist, where an Apple-Mac-White diver’s watch or the designer shirt he was wearing cut his skin short. His clothes covered up a skeletal body, a sleek sporting frame. He had a tiny badge on the back of his shirt collar, a perfect circle of pure aluminium, with the letters MS engraved in its centre. His glasses were extremely thin in every way, but were worth more than half that of the aircraft he would be flying on. From the frame fell an almost invisible wire, connecting to a tiny computer chip in the MS badge."
Well liked by his classmates, and many other acquaintances, David tends to be a quiet, unassuming character. His technical expertise with computers is unparalleled in BRGS; arguably his network goes down less often than the professionally managed school network, but does have only 1% the number of computers in comparison. He has built computers to order, and assisted the building and maintenance of a number more with a great deal of success, which is one reason why he is not only a good friend, but useful as well.
Having performed abysmally in his A2 final exams, David has now been forced to take up a job at McDonalds, mopping the floor*. It may be suggested that he would be a weak professional athlete, but if he was to type for the UK, he would have very little trouble.
* - obviously not, although he did only get 35 As, shocking performance..
He is also approximate to a Wikideity (other examples include Jimbo Wales of Wikipedia) -- it's even in his name! Bewicke... Be Wicke...Be Wiki, and is appropriately Ranked Firstfor all edits of all time on the BRGS Wiki. However, just to put this in perspective, he is the site administrator of sorts, so it's not surprising.
Staff Wars Creator
Begun in the dark ages of year 12, this was a project that attempted to parody the then-recent Star Wars Episode III cash-in/film release, and also co-incided with the appointment of Lord Morris II at school. Liberally ripping off the Star Wars films, it takes in such characters as General Greggers, Lord Robinson and the mysterious Count Bewku.
The conclusion to the trilogy will, in the words of its maker:
"It'll definitely be finished by leavers day. If it isn't finished by the middle of may, there'll be a big explosion, and everything will end."
Therefore, David's role in the BRGS wiki will be reduced whilst the final instalment is pushed to completion. Staff Wars is a series of animated student and teacher mini-movies, starring Josh Cadney, Akif Hussein and Lord Morris. Initially a comic strip, the title quickly progressed into a more animated state with episode 2 and episode 3.
Typical of Mr. B, the highly anticipated Episode III: Return of the Kang - the final part of the trilogy - was been under development for over half a year and has only appeared once in a beta-release.
"I'll try and get it done by the time we leave."
David shows improvement on earlier timekeeping however; the game he initially intended to complete "by April" is now four years overdue.
David's graphical calculator has become somewhat of a mystery. Many have supposed that it has been 'souped-up' with some advanced battery and audio-visual technology. These reports have remained unconfirmed, however, it is known that software enhancements have been made, namely a Countdown generator, with clock; Whack-a-rat; along with a failed cubic formula solver and Worms 2D.
Also Known As
Phoxophrys, Clizard, Dave
Quotes and Escapades
- Melon: "What kind of fire was it David?"
David: "An Arse-on fire..." (cascade of laughter)
- Melon is running at full tilt towards the old wooden doors in the Glen Road entrance to the Newchurch Wing. Gets through left hand door fine.
Dave is in pursuit, also running at full tilt. Aims for right hand door. It's locked. Crunch.
Probably not actual quotes but quite true:
- "Argh! Turn that light off!"
- "Is anyone cold?" (while outside temperature is actually melting the windows)
- "Yeah, it'll be done by, ooo, January...*long pause*...ish."
Where are you now?
Studying Natural Sciences at Cambridge. And possibly plotting to take over Microsoft in some way?
Note from Andrew L. [Dave knows me!]: That's my world domination scheme. I think Google are looking for the next Larry Page and Sergey Brin, though!