Difference between revisions of "Luke Byrne"

Revision as of 18:25, 19 March 2007

For some reason he likes to talk in a strong Russian accent in german lessons. Occasionally at break he will say something in a strong russian accent, like "Hello. Can you show me way to public toilet please, I want happy time." Also called leather buns, he loves doing impressions of Borat. He was once told of by a dinnerlady for looking suspicious, when he wasn't actually doing anything! Well he was, but if he wasn't then he wouldn't be Luke. Another time he was being told of by a dinnerlady (a regular occurence) and threw an empty bottle at her. She somehow dodged it, to the amazement of everyone around, and this has given rise to the legend of the Ninja Dinnerlady.

He famously wrote the legendary scroll of "Bandspade" whilst drunk on Yazoo milkshake with Michael Brown. This may, or may not, be released to the public sometime in the future.

He once stole a mouse from school, and swung it around, until he crushed it under the skip. Fortunately it was a computer mouse, and it didn't work any more. He also needed help to lift the skip.

Once couldn't be bothered to say the popular comeback "Your mum", so he attached a ruler to a piece of paper, wrote "Your mum" on it, and held it up whenever appropriate and whenever inappropriate as well.

He has rewritten the words to the song "You Raise me up" to these

Give me some toast so i will not be hungry,
Give me some toast, it will not go to waste, 
Give me some toast so i can fill my face,
Give me some toast it will not go to waste

In the first English lesson of year 10 Luke's new teacher Mr Neve decided to try and get to know the class by asking them what their favourite book was and why. When it was Luke's turn, after a lot of hesitation and denial that he read anything, he said "Dracula"

"Why?" said Mr. Neve

"I don't know."

"You must have some idea."

"No"

"Do you read a lot of horror stories?"

"No"

"There must be some reason why you picked up the book and started to read it."

"It had a vampire on the cover"

"Oh, so you like vampires?"

"No"

This carried on for quite a long time before Mr Neve gave up.

When sat next to Joseph Donnelly in English lessons the two of them form an unstoppable conbination of misbehaviour, comedy and stupidity. They were once sat together, and one of the tables broke by itself, "Honestly sir, it did!" One pair of legs had come away from the tabletop. When Luke was sent out of the lesson, (Joe had been sent out half an hour earlier) he asked if he could take the broken chair legs with him. He was shocked when Mr. Neve said yes. When he was brought back in however he was told to leave the legs outside.

One R.S. lesson (R.S. sets are the same as English sets in years 10 and 11), while sir was out Joe somehow managed to steal Aki (Thomas Atkinson)'s shoe. Luke ran out of his seat and said "Go long". Joe threw it to him and Luke dropped it in the bin. This led to a fight between the two, when eventually Aki managed to force Luke's head into the bin. When he emerged he said "It smells in there." A few minutes later sir came back in, and Luke said "he's bullying me sir" In the same lesson the class was shocked to hear that Luke had never seen the Disney film "Bambi".

In another R.S. lesson after a discussion about cohabitation, marriage and getting married to save on taxes Luke and Joe got engaged. Fortunately Luke said it was only for taxes, not sex. Hmmmm? In yet another lesson someone had a packet of cookies. Luke begged for one and when he wasn't given one he said "Don't leave me here to starve in the cold." He was sat in the middle of the classroom. He then asked someone if he could snap their ruler, and was surprised to hear the answer "yes". He then said "I don't want to now I've got your permission, but spent 5 minutes trying to snap the ruler anyway. He was surprised when instead of snapping it just bent, as it wasn't a flexi-ruler, just a normal one. He gave it back to it's owner, who snapped it in half straight away.

When Mr Parkinson said a German word in german Luke asked "What does that mean, is it a kind of transexual scientist?"

Random Person: Have you seen george?" Luke: "Yeah, he's up my booty!"

Famous sayings

"Ya mum said that last night..."

"Jason Vorhees"

"BOOBULAR!"

"The Fat Ninja strikes again!" (about himself)

"Hockey mask"

"Mashetee"

"I want happy time"

"lol". He doesn't laugh or say laugh out loud, he just says "lol."

"Sir smokes weed!"

"TEH <insert word here>ZOR/Z" (eg, "TEH ENGLISHZOR" or "TEH ENGLISHZORZ")

"O Teh noes!" (pronounced "Oh teh nowez")