John Holland

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Where are you now?

I'm studying Physics and Astronomy.

I have two big projects. The first is just two months working on a European Space Agency probe mission (Rosetta) doing some science planning (that is, describing some sensible ways ESA could move the probe around the target comet to find some really cool stuff out).

The second is investigating why the galaxy exists at all, given that the cosmological constant is a factor of 10^122 different to that predicted by some of the most beautiful fundamental models mathematicians have come up with for describing the universe. Then I'm going to reverse engineering the values of the cosmological constant which could lead to universes where galaxies exist, and find out whether this constrains the values of the cosmological constant in some interesting way. It sounds like a circular argument because it is.

It's Melon

Ever since Year 7, John Holland adopted the alias of Melon, inherited from his older brother who was once given exactly the same nickname, apparently for completely different reasons. John was apparently given the nickname due to the shape of his head...

Got the T-shirt

John participated in a huge range of extra-curricular activities, including UVIth year council, senior choir, jazz band, trombone lessons, tree planting, kayaking, climbing, cubs, Duke of Edinburgh,....

Leading the Leavers Ball

After being successfully elected as the head of the lower sixth year council, John coordinated the organisation of the Christmas quiz in 2004, as well as supporting fundraising for the Leavers Ball. However, he has earned a reputation in Tuesday Assemblies as being the most interesting speaker, and even has his own fan club and podcast because of it.

Master Trombonist and Musical Prodigy

John has played the trombone for quite a while. He has performed in the RVS windband, LYSO and various school productions. He has notably performed in many trombone features as well as a solo part in James Bond, accompanied by the Normandy Band.

He also carried out his Year 10 work experience with the band, and at the age of 14 was noted as having the composing age of a 25 year-old.



Year 7, coin football. John placed his mouth down upon the table. Elliot aimed, John stood up. Elliot fired, John went back down again to catch it - in his mouth. Although at the time, he was referred to as Piggybank, John still managed to retain the nickname of Melon.

The tale of the Knee and the Invisible Goldfish

In Year 8, John was again unlucky to be participating in a sporting game of tig. Not wanting to lose, he took a 'shortcut' which sent him tumbling onto a large area of concrete, known as the courts. Unfortunately, John broke his knee and as a result was out of action for a couple of months.

Five Years

John provided a thrilling contribution to the leaving celebrations. Having collated photos of staff in previous weeks (labelled the daemon photographers), he didn't construct a slide presentation to say 'goodbye' to all the staff (Dave and Chris did, although John did make the music), led by cheers and (muted) boos from the enthusiastic audience. John presented the score to his specially-composed piece to 'the greats' of Year 11 education, including Mr Fuller, who left that year.