Mrs Stanley

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Mrs. Stanley is a History teacher.


  • "Who'd pay £200 for a Teletubby?
  • "Inflation is too much money chasing too few goods."
  • "We need to look at why Labour lost in 1951, and why Labour won."
  • "And thats the reason why everything turned out like that, isn't it class.....?" Be warned - the answer is always no.
  • "What if you had to wear those cheap ASDA school uniforms? The shirts you can see through and the trousers that make so much static they set fire to the hairs on your legs...girls."
  • "Do you enjoy killing people?" Student: "Yes Miss. I want to be an assassin when I grow up."
  • "That's horrible. What is this game?" Student: "Creative Kill Chamber."
  • "I think you should throw the body on the spikes and jump on it instead of the spikes." (Student doesn't think it will work) 5 minutes later... (The level is completed Mrs. Stanley's way) "That's what I said you should do. You should have listened to me."


Established school newspaper

Reputedly created school policy on being able to drink water in class

Reputedly creating by her own popular demand a school policy on being able to bring a case of orange juice to school every day and drink it in the course of her one Year 13 History.

For years dworwi bones repeatedly claimed Mrs. Stanley was the love of his life and still to this day obsesses about her.

The morning after her beloved Liverpool lost 1-0 to Burnley she seem to have transformed into a daemon from hell.

Using Football analogies to explain ANY historical event...from the battle of Hastings to the life and times of Henry VIII, usually in accordance with a metaphorical reference to 'Accrington Stanley' versus, say, Liverpool.

Whilst she taught trench warfare to Year 9, she asked us for a volunteer to help demonstrate the success of attacking tenches. Will Eaton volunteered. She then set up a chair at one end of the classroom, asks for people to give Will their bags until he was carrying about half the classes and gives everyone in the class a few bits of waste paper to screw up. She then explained, the chair is the side of the trench that Will has to climb over, the bags are all the weapons, rations and entrenching tools he would have to carry. The rest of the class were Germans, and the paper was bullets. Will was then forced to jump over the chair and run to the end of the classroom with the weight of 15 bags without being hit by any of the "bullets". One of her finest moments.

She does a great "coal miner" voice and her impression of lenny henry isn't half bad either.