Mrs Sharp

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Mrs Sharp is an A-Level Computing "teacher", who occasionally participates in lower school Maths lessons. Unlike the conventional "turn it off and back on again", Mrs Sharp takes a more innovative approach to problem-solving:

1) Consulting VisualBasic for dummies. 2) Deleting several lines of code and then saying "I'm just going to walk over..........." leaving before she finishes the sentence 3) Delegating to another member of the class. 4) Saying "I'll let you have a little play with that."

A Level Computing

In the (5 person) A level computing class last year, there was an average of 3 members in attendance at any one point. This was made better by the flexible lesson timings, which involved 3 members (Phil Ed and Sam) walking in around 15 minutes late every lesson (Ed's record was 50 minutes late after taking an extremely fun lunchbreak at a friend's house [twice]) after having an extended lunch or break. Oh, and they always brought in food, with nothing but a smile emanating from Mrs Sharp (Although she did occasionally pester until someone gave her a piece of chewing gum). Ed still has a pair of her cable-crimpers, which he should really give back at some point.


  • "I have a feeling that this is going to be hard!!" two seconds later "yes that is very hard you will all have to concentrate on this piece of hard work"
  • "There's no M in Mrs. Sharp is ace"

-- UVI computing (2002 intake), on needing header information to reassemble packets to avoid anagrams of 'Mrs. Sharp is ace', which we'd (obviously) just sent over our hypothetical network

sharp: (shouting)"I'm not going to shout at you" "Why am I shouting at you"

  • (in 8S Maths)

"You can stop staring into each other's eyes now..."

  • (in 8g IT)

(students were dancing and singing on chairs loudly) "You can come and dance for me at break time!!"

  • (in yr 8 Maths, 2000)

Sharp: "I'm watching you very closely Chris!" (pointing at Richard) Chris: "I'm over here miss" (from a completely different side of the room) Sharp: "Oh.. right.. sorry"

  • (legendary form time)

1st lesson for 8G-

  • Sharp:Ok and what's your name?
  • Student: George
  • Sharp: Are you Jolly George?
  • Class: Yeah!
  • Sharp: You know what Jolly George? You seem like my kind of man!

As above there have been other nicknames such as Amazing Eliza, Zainy Zianna and others.

(Upon teaching the class of 9S how to use Audacity, Mrs Sharp delivered a rap down the microphone to a pre-recorded drum beat)

  • "I'm in year nine and I'm doing real fine, Got my GCSE, and it's going reeeeeaaal sweet. I like IT and doing... good things......
  • This rap now seems legendary amongst the 9S of 2004-5
  • "Let's play with our variables!"
  • Sharp: Right let's get on with playing with macros!
  • Student: Miss I don't like playing with macros!
  • Sharp: Nonsense it's fun! I can't believe you don't like playing with macros!

(also to 9S of 04/05)

  • Sharp: "JONTY is that a rubber in your pocket??"
  • Student "...or are you just pleased to see me?"
  • Sharp: "Ok, I'll let you go early as long as you're quiet"

[Students leave "woop"ing]

  • Sharp: "Remind me next week to give those lads a refferal"
  • Upon teaching 9S of 2005-2006, now 10S 2006-2007.

Sharp: "I have had enough of your insolence, now go stand outside!

[Martyn walks out the classroom]

Sharp: "Yes you keep going, right into the middle of the hall & pray the headmaster comes past!"

30 minutes later..

Michael: "Miss can we get martyn back into the lesson now?"

Sharp: "What ? I never sent him out."

Whole form: "Yes you did!"

Sharp: "Ah ok." (goes to look outside the classroom door)

Sharp: "He isn't there. Maybe he went wandering."

Jory: "No miss you sent him to stand in the middle of the hall."

Sharp: "No i didnt, i would have remembered if i had. Actually, maybe i did.... hmm everyone get on and carry on with your websites!"

Comes back in 2 minutes with later with Martyn..

Sharp: "Ok then maybe you were right. "

  • Sharp: "Martin Log Back on NOWWW! There is still 5 minutes left."

Martin: "Miss im not logged off! Jesus Christ!!"

Sharp: "Well someone has!"

Martin: "Why are you logging off miss?"

Sharp: "I need to do for PARS!"

Martin: "Sure you do!"

Sharp: "Sure i DO!!!"

  • John Byrne: "I really like that Alistair boy, he is good at magic, i like that!"

Sharp: "CALM DOWN JOHN!!!!"

Martin: "Yeah, Take a chill pill!"

  • During 8R (05/06) Timothy Bonham had a "naughty name" from her.

Tim: "miss its Tim" Sharp: "no, timothy is your naughty name!!" "Dinky"

  • Sharp: (To Adam Cronan) Come on Cronie, gimme an example!
  • [To IT Full Course GSCE Class 2006-2007]

Sharp: "For your homework this week, You must do up to the end of 06." [After 5 mins of rabble trying to negotiate with her.] Sharp: "I think I deserve some of you doing 3 *holds up 4 fingers* hours of work this week since you're so far behind."

  • Sharp: (on Access) "If you have any problems with your relationships, you come to Mrs Sharp, she'll sort them out."
  • Sharp: (re: headphones) "Can you take that off? ...Or I'm going to get my scissors out!"
  • Sharp: (in Access, again) "Cancel it! CANCEL IT! CANCEL THE WIZARD!"
  • Sharp: "You're just obsessed!" *Giggles from Year 9 GCSE class" Whispers: "No Miss, you are.."

Mrs sharp last year had several argument with Megan Cook now in 10s, in the middle of ICT lessons.

sharp: THIS (slams printer) is a printer.