Mrs Heywood

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Mrs Heywood is an RS and PSHE teacher in BRGS, who is well known for being constantly pregnant. Once spent a whole lesson in a computer room showing students school pictures from when she was a pupil at BRGS at pointing out who she thought was fit and who she went out with.

Constantly on a diet from all the child bearing - but not looking too bad!! Mrs Heywood drives a BMW X5 with a personalised number plate - however, instead of listening to gangster rap, you can hear 'Take That' blaring from the stereo on the way up the slope. Sad.

Mrs Heywood loves all things musical - she organised Stars on the Rise for BRGS twice and participated in the charity karaoke, where she was pipped at the post by Mr Gray and Mr Fitton singing 'I got you babe'. It has recently emerged that she is accomplished on the piano, and the music room is her new hang out.

The slightly twisted punishment system Mrs Heywood has developed with Year 7 and 8 must be mentioned. The class accumulate minutes when they are wasting time - the total number at the end of the lesson being how long the class stays after the bell. Nothing new there then. However, then she chooses someone (usually someone who's been irritating her) to be the scapegoat for the class. This person can change though, so beware not to laugh at someone's misfortune.

She has also made 'essays' for mis-behaved pupils to write..

Mrs Heywood can spot a ring or 'inappropriate earrings' a mile off.

Mark Scheme for Projects

It is a fact that Mrs Heywood uses her own mark scheme for any project, which goes something like this:

  • A+ - Stuck onto coloured card, many colours used, nice writing
  • A - Stuck onto coloured card, multiple colours used, nice writing
  • B - Multiple colours used, clear writing
  • C, D, E - Not many colours
  • U - No colours

(Note: actual content of work does not matter)

Fire Alarm

When the fire alarm went off, 8N stood up and started towards the door. Mrs Heywood then said: "Thats not the fire alarm, the fire alarm goes knee nore knee nore." Then realising that it WAS the fire alarm, as everybody else in the school was moving she said just stay here for a bit 8N; it won't be a real fire.


  • "Why would you do that?!"
  • "If you get a detention, I'll give you a second!"