Mr Bretherton

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Mr Bretherton, in his hairier days.

Mr Bretherton is a Chemistry teacher. Currently 08N's form tutor.

Bowie and Bretherton - you never see them together

Mr Bretherton is reported to look like David Bowie. Although there is debate concerning this matter, the image on the right proves that there is a slight resemblence.

He also had his car dinted by some goon in year 11 with a football.

Contrary to popular belief, doesn't wear a wig and have false teeth, as was proved when Mose tried to pull his hair out.


  • Mr B to 08s in their first year "The instestines are useless, we don't need them anymore because we're not cavemen anymore(that was when they were in year 5). They are only needed for eating grass.
  • "When the bell goes....(insert one of the following phrases) "Put the bags back" or "You are here in the form room" or "Your uniform is correct".
  • "One more interruption and you'll be in alphabetical positions is that clear?"
  • "If they're not here, I have to mark them as absent"
  • "Ah good we need a volunteer to do the chairs!"
  • "Once more, just once more and I'll send you downstairs, its all I need!"
  • (various people murmuring throughout the room) "The voice! I hear the voice! There it is! The VOICE! I tell you, one day I will find the voice. I will find the source of the voice and DESTROY it! Are you listening 8R?"
  • "OK, you will all need a whiteboard and a brain..."
  • (About half way through the lesson) "Have you found your pen yet Adam?"
  • Jess Lee: "Sir, Why aren't you wearing goggles?"

Mr B: "I'm indestructible!"

  • Randomer: "What's that say on the whiteboard?"

Mr B: "I've made it illegible to slow you down..."

  • Mr B: "What is a mole?"

Randomer: "A small furry creature"
Mr B then walks in randomer's direction shaking his board pen in a menacing way.

  • Bretherton: This is silver nitrate. It is very expensive and we're only allowed to use a little bit." (proceeds to pour about half the bottle into the test tube)
  • Mr B: "Now these are precise weighing devices, unlike the ones from Tesco which measure bananas to the nearest half kilogram"
  • Mr B: "People actually want to steal magnesium. I can't imagine why..."
  • Mr B(To 8R of last year)I don't laugh when you have funny names, so you don't laugh at his. OK, we're having a student teacher in. His name is...I'm gonna have to compose my self to say this (class start laughing and he ends up having to write the name on the board) Mr Dongo.

(Bretherton starts laughing, class look bemused)

  • Mr B (To Keiran Cliffe, currently in 8R) Shut it (waves pen in a menacing fashion) or I'll have to place this in a VERY uncomfortable place for you.
  • Now class, for homework I want you to get a rock, put it on the windowsill and watch it for 3000 years (at which point Kieran Cliffe writes this down).This was repeated by Toby White years later who actually did it and brought in his rock to show progress.
  • "If I have one more interruption it will be alphabetical places for the rest of the year". He says this every registration but has only done it twice - to the same class.
  • (After Rebecca Dawson drew a questionable looking fairy on her Chemistry test) "You know examiners can refuse to mark papers if a student has drawn rude things on them..."