Asher Horner
Contents
His Life...
Asher, (his lankyness) was born on 21st of January 1991, in his life he has accomplished many useless feats and mastered many skills, whether how to balance a spoon on his nose or whether it be how to turn everything Liam Taylor says into a “ya mum” joke.
Appearance
His hair is brown, long, and curly. He is a head above most other people and just incase you're wondering, yes he is rather lanky. In breaks and lunches can be found on the courts. If you see this teen you must slap yourself in amazement.
Skills, And Trademarks
His lankyness' first aim was to master the ancient art of basketball, to this day he has not completed this task so has been deemed a failure by many members of his family (not for not mastering basketball but for incessant rudeness towards them) One of his later tricks was to learn how to spin a basketball on his finger which he mastered in a record 2 days. Since that fateful weekend he has set a trend not only within his form but even in different years. Asher is also well known for his ability to climb any fence on the courts in under 10 seconds. This skill has been used many a time, whether retrieving one of his own basketballs or the pesky year 8s' footballs, just to leisurely throw to a colleague who would in turn kick the ball down into Waterfoot never to be seen again. His basketball trademark is to roll the ball along the floor making strange noises consisting of loud, high pitched screeches, which some believe to be an ancient war chant of the lanky people of old...
Other Stuff He's Known For
Another important point to mention is his general disliking to all years below him. Especially the year 8s who repeatedly call him such terrible names as "spaghetti head" and "curly wurly freak". This is met by either retaliation through verbal abuse, a proposition of a match, or if in a violent mood, will grab a nearby, half-eaten apple and hurl it at the wire fence so hard it will split into several pieces and reign apply death among all who challenge him.
Stuff He's Said
- "I'm dead inside"
- "WOW it's a multicoloured tiger!"
- "Why is it my arm reaches that far?"
- What can only be described as a dolphin noise
- "Nya nya nya nya NYA!!!"
- "That fence looks reeeeaaally dangerous...I take it I'm climbing it?"
- "Gimme a pound and I'll hit Sam's crutches so he falls over in an amusing fashion!!!"
- "And the point of quadratic equations is?"
- "My punk hair is ace!!! If only the roof of the car was higher..."
