Difference between revisions of "Mr Hoyle"

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(In brief)
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[[Image:187.jpg|thumb|Mr Hoyle looking like a child with his helpers on an [[Iceland]] Trip]]
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Mr Hoyle is a [[Geography]] teacher at [[BRGS]]. He is famed for how he says sedimentary rock and telling his classes about his Polish wife. He appears to have quite a passion for his subject, often getting cross if people do not understand geographical facts the first time around. As with most teachers in the school, he has his "own room" - which, for Mr Hoyle, is [[room 32]]. He also has a liking for the band Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds.
  
=In brief=
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*the freak tried to bite my tie off!!!! the big pervert!
* Has a more than strange way of talking: for example, instead of saying 'human' he would say 'U-man'.
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* Famous for his unibrow, or, as it is known to commoners, monobrow.
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*Mr Hoyle is a [[Geography]] teacher at BRGS. He is famed for how he says sedimentary rock and telling his classes about his Polish wife. He appears to have quite a passion for his subject, often getting cross if people do not understand geographical facts the first time around.
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*As with most teachers in the school, he has his "own room" - which, for Mr Hoyle, is [[room 32]]. Most of his school time will be spent here, the staffroom or in room 29 when he feels like using computers.
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*He has a liking for the band Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds.
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* He is also famed for his HUGE mono-brow, which has rumored to have jumped off his head in one lesson to attack a pupil, the pupil was never found again.
  
==Photographs==
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==Holidays==
* Mr Hoyle shows his GCSE class of 05-07 a slideshow of photos showing different living conditions in a place:
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Last year, he went to India. Fact.
  
Hoyle: "I took these photos"
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==Quotes==
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*"we're gun'ta.." [we are going to]
  
Students [shout together]: "No you didn't sir, we saw these pictures about 3 years ago! Mr Spencer showed them to us!"
 
  
Hoyle: "No, I really did!"
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*Pupil: "Sir, where did you get your jacket from?"
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*Mr Hoyle: "Burtons. Jacket, trousers, shoes, tie and shirt all for £100. Bargain." [short silence while still staring at the pupil] "You should buy your school uniform from Burtons too. Oh no, they only do mens clothes."
  
Students:"NO YOU DIDNT!"
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*"Sedimentary rocks."
  
Hoyle: "Oh okay, just a little white lie."
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[At the end of registration]
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*"STOP! WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOING?! I HAVEN'T READ THE NOTICES OUT YET!"
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*"Oh yes I have. Off you go to your next lesson."
  
* Mr Hoyle: "This looks like a nice city - but if you look ''here'' you will notice this part where all the scummy scum scums live."
 
  
Random student: "IT'S BURNLEY!"
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[Upon explaining what discharge is measured in to the class]
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*"Discharge is measured in cumecs, which is how many cubic metres [writes "cum" on the board] pass a point per second [adds "secs" to the board to form a word] which is why it is called...[notices what he has just written and the class starts laughing]..oops, not that."
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[[Category:Teachers|Hoyle]]
  
==Attire==
 
  
Pupil: "Sir, where did you get your jacket from?"
 
  
Mr Hoyle: "Burtons. Jacket, trousers, shoes, tie and shirt all for £100. Bargain." [short silence while still staring at the pupil] "You should buy your school uniform from Burtons too. Oh no, they only do mens clothes."
 
  
Student: Sir, why would you buy three-quarter-length waterproof pants?
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In 9S geography 05/06
 
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*walks round with fly undone*
Hoyle: What? I'm not wearing....
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Martyn sends a note to him "sir your fly is undone"
 
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Mr Hoyle sends a note back
Student: I know, I know, I just wondered why they sell them...
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"Martyn your shirt is untucked"
 
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*Whole class laughs continously for the remainder of the lesson*
Hoyle: Well, the water drips off lower down your leg, so it's more comfortable
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Student: Eh?
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''<five minute explanation about advantages of three-quarter-length waterproof jackets>''
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Student: No, three-quarter-length PANTS!
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Hoyle: Oh, pants? Sorry, I thought you meant jackets. Well, it's just personal preference really, I suppose they're cooler and more practical in hot countries, to keep your legs cool.
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Student: But then you'd get your feet wet.
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Hoyle: What? You wouldn't wear them when it was raining.
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Student: Then why are they waterproof?
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Hoyle: Oh, you mean WATERPROOF three-quarter-lengths? Erm. I have no idea.
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==Miscellaneous==
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* "British Seaman entering African Ports"
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* "She died....?"
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* "We're gun'ta.." [we are going to]
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* "SEDIMEN(big pause)ARY ROCKS!!!."
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* "STOP! WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOING?! I HAVEN'T READ THE NOTICES OUT YET!........Oh... yes I have. Off you go to your next lesson."
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* "Discharge is measured in cumecs, which is how many cubic metres [writes "cum" on the board] pass a point per second [adds "secs" to the board to form a word] which is why it is called...[notices what he has just written and the class starts laughing]..oops, not that."
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In 9S geography 05/06, Mr Hoyle walks round with fly undone. Martyn sends a note to him: 'Sir, your fly is undone.' Mr Hoyle sends a note back: "Martyn, your shirt is untucked."
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In 9R's lesson a rebellious child has flicked chewing gum onto the interactive board...
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Hoyle: That wasn't there before, who put it there?
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[pulls it off, stretches it between fingers and smells it]
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Hoyle: Mmm, juicy fruit, my favourite!
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[shows girl sat next to the bin his marvellous find... and pops it in the bin. Whole class sits in shock.]
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*11S registration - "I'm not blaming anyone, but I know it was you two."
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*Dictating to an upper sixth class about AIDS. "the female doctor returned from Africa rather un well ("full stop"). She died ("full stop").
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*Again "the spreading of aids has been put down to seamen" class bursts out laughing " yes well what other word could i have used" the word "sailor" gets muttered around the class. " oh yes, well i suppose that is better, i'll use that next year".
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*Drak(sounds like he is swallowing)unsberg mounains
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[[Category:Teachers|Hoyle]]
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Revision as of 17:05, 13 December 2006

Mr Hoyle is a Geography teacher at BRGS. He is famed for how he says sedimentary rock and telling his classes about his Polish wife. He appears to have quite a passion for his subject, often getting cross if people do not understand geographical facts the first time around. As with most teachers in the school, he has his "own room" - which, for Mr Hoyle, is room 32. He also has a liking for the band Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds.

  • the freak tried to bite my tie off!!!! the big pervert!
  • He is also famed for his HUGE mono-brow, which has rumored to have jumped off his head in one lesson to attack a pupil, the pupil was never found again.

Holidays

Last year, he went to India. Fact.

Quotes

  • "we're gun'ta.." [we are going to]


  • Pupil: "Sir, where did you get your jacket from?"
  • Mr Hoyle: "Burtons. Jacket, trousers, shoes, tie and shirt all for £100. Bargain." [short silence while still staring at the pupil] "You should buy your school uniform from Burtons too. Oh no, they only do mens clothes."
  • "Sedimentary rocks."

[At the end of registration]

  • "STOP! WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOING?! I HAVEN'T READ THE NOTICES OUT YET!"
  • "Oh yes I have. Off you go to your next lesson."


[Upon explaining what discharge is measured in to the class]

  • "Discharge is measured in cumecs, which is how many cubic metres [writes "cum" on the board] pass a point per second [adds "secs" to the board to form a word] which is why it is called...[notices what he has just written and the class starts laughing]..oops, not that."



In 9S geography 05/06

  • walks round with fly undone*

Martyn sends a note to him "sir your fly is undone" Mr Hoyle sends a note back "Martyn your shirt is untucked"

  • Whole class laughs continously for the remainder of the lesson*