Difference between revisions of "Mr Hoyle"
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*Mr Hoyle is a [[Geography]] teacher at BRGS. He is famed for how he says sedimentary rock and telling his classes about his Polish wife. He appears to have quite a passion for his subject, often getting cross if people do not understand geographical facts the first time around. As with most teachers in the school, he has his "own room" - which, for Mr Hoyle, is room 32. He has a liking for the band Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds. | *Mr Hoyle is a [[Geography]] teacher at BRGS. He is famed for how he says sedimentary rock and telling his classes about his Polish wife. He appears to have quite a passion for his subject, often getting cross if people do not understand geographical facts the first time around. As with most teachers in the school, he has his "own room" - which, for Mr Hoyle, is room 32. He has a liking for the band Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds. | ||
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==Photographs== | ==Photographs== | ||
* Mr Hoyle shows his GCSE class of 05-07 a slideshow of photos showing different living conditions in a place: | * Mr Hoyle shows his GCSE class of 05-07 a slideshow of photos showing different living conditions in a place: | ||
| − | + | Hoyle: "I took these photos" | |
Students [shout together]: "No you didn't sir, we saw these pictures about 3 years ago! Mr Spencer showed them to us!" | Students [shout together]: "No you didn't sir, we saw these pictures about 3 years ago! Mr Spencer showed them to us!" | ||
| − | + | Hoyle: "No, I really did!" | |
Students:"NO YOU DIDNT!" | Students:"NO YOU DIDNT!" | ||
| − | + | Hoyle: "Oh okay, just a little white lie." | |
| − | * Mr Hoyle: "This looks like a nice city - but if you look ''here'' you will notice this part where all the | + | * Mr Hoyle: "This looks like a nice city - but if you look ''here'' you will notice this part where all the scummy scum scums live." |
| − | Random student: "IT'S | + | Random student: "IT'S BURNLEY!" |
==Attire== | ==Attire== | ||
| − | + | ||
| + | Pupil: "Sir, where did you get your jacket from?" | ||
Mr Hoyle: "Burtons. Jacket, trousers, shoes, tie and shirt all for £100. Bargain." [short silence while still staring at the pupil] "You should buy your school uniform from Burtons too. Oh no, they only do mens clothes." | Mr Hoyle: "Burtons. Jacket, trousers, shoes, tie and shirt all for £100. Bargain." [short silence while still staring at the pupil] "You should buy your school uniform from Burtons too. Oh no, they only do mens clothes." | ||
| − | + | Student: Sir, why would you buy three-quarter-length waterproof pants? | |
Hoyle: What? I'm not wearing.... | Hoyle: What? I'm not wearing.... | ||
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==Miscellaneous== | ==Miscellaneous== | ||
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* "We're gun'ta.." [we are going to] | * "We're gun'ta.." [we are going to] | ||
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* "Sedimentary rocks." | * "Sedimentary rocks." | ||
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* "STOP! WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOING?! I HAVEN'T READ THE NOTICES OUT YET!........Oh... yes I have. Off you go to your next lesson." | * "STOP! WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOING?! I HAVEN'T READ THE NOTICES OUT YET!........Oh... yes I have. Off you go to your next lesson." | ||
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* "Discharge is measured in cumecs, which is how many cubic metres [writes "cum" on the board] pass a point per second [adds "secs" to the board to form a word] which is why it is called...[notices what he has just written and the class starts laughing]..oops, not that." | * "Discharge is measured in cumecs, which is how many cubic metres [writes "cum" on the board] pass a point per second [adds "secs" to the board to form a word] which is why it is called...[notices what he has just written and the class starts laughing]..oops, not that." | ||
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| − | + | In 9S geography 05/06, Mr Hoyle walks round with fly undone. Martyn sends a note to him: 'Sir, your fly is undone.' Mr Hoyle sends a note back: "Martyn, your shirt is untucked." | |
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| + | In 9R's lesson a rebellious child has flicked chewing gum onto the interactive board... | ||
Hoyle: That wasn't there before, who put it there? | Hoyle: That wasn't there before, who put it there? | ||
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[shows girl sat next to the bin his marvellous find... and pops it in the bin. Whole class sits in shock.] | [shows girl sat next to the bin his marvellous find... and pops it in the bin. Whole class sits in shock.] | ||
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| − | Dictating to an upper sixth class about AIDS. "the female doctor returned from Africa rather un well ("full stop"). She died ("full stop"). | + | *11S registration - "I'm not blaming anyone, but I know it was you two." |
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| + | *Dictating to an upper sixth class about AIDS. "the female doctor returned from Africa rather un well ("full stop"). She died ("full stop"). | ||
| − | Again "the spreading of aids has been put down to seamen" class bursts out laughing " yes well what other word could i have used" the word "sailor" gets muttered around the class. " oh yes, well i suppose that is better, i'll use that next year". | + | *Again "the spreading of aids has been put down to seamen" class bursts out laughing " yes well what other word could i have used" the word "sailor" gets muttered around the class. " oh yes, well i suppose that is better, i'll use that next year". |
[[Category:Teachers|Hoyle]] | [[Category:Teachers|Hoyle]] | ||
Revision as of 17:24, 22 November 2006
Mr Hoyle looking like a child with his helpers on an Iceland Trip
In brief
- Has a more than strange way of talking: for example, instead of saying 'human' he would say 'U-man'.
- Famous for his unibrow, or, as it is known to commoners, monobrow.
- Mr Hoyle is a Geography teacher at BRGS. He is famed for how he says sedimentary rock and telling his classes about his Polish wife. He appears to have quite a passion for his subject, often getting cross if people do not understand geographical facts the first time around. As with most teachers in the school, he has his "own room" - which, for Mr Hoyle, is room 32. He has a liking for the band Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds.
Photographs
- Mr Hoyle shows his GCSE class of 05-07 a slideshow of photos showing different living conditions in a place:
Hoyle: "I took these photos"
Students [shout together]: "No you didn't sir, we saw these pictures about 3 years ago! Mr Spencer showed them to us!"
Hoyle: "No, I really did!"
Students:"NO YOU DIDNT!"
Hoyle: "Oh okay, just a little white lie."
- Mr Hoyle: "This looks like a nice city - but if you look here you will notice this part where all the scummy scum scums live."
Random student: "IT'S BURNLEY!"
Attire
Pupil: "Sir, where did you get your jacket from?"
Mr Hoyle: "Burtons. Jacket, trousers, shoes, tie and shirt all for £100. Bargain." [short silence while still staring at the pupil] "You should buy your school uniform from Burtons too. Oh no, they only do mens clothes."
Student: Sir, why would you buy three-quarter-length waterproof pants?
Hoyle: What? I'm not wearing....
Student: I know, I know, I just wondered why they sell them...
Hoyle: Well, the water drips off lower down your leg, so it's more comfortable
Student: Eh?
<five minute explanation about advantages of three-quarter-length waterproof jackets>
Student: No, three-quarter-length PANTS!
Hoyle: Oh, pants? Sorry, I thought you meant jackets. Well, it's just personal preference really, I suppose they're cooler and more practical in hot countries, to keep your legs cool.
Student: But then you'd get your feet wet.
Hoyle: What? You wouldn't wear them when it was raining.
Student: Then why are they waterproof?
Hoyle: Oh, you mean WATERPROOF three-quarter-lengths? Erm. I have no idea.
Miscellaneous
- "We're gun'ta.." [we are going to]
- "Sedimentary rocks."
- "STOP! WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOING?! I HAVEN'T READ THE NOTICES OUT YET!........Oh... yes I have. Off you go to your next lesson."
- "Discharge is measured in cumecs, which is how many cubic metres [writes "cum" on the board] pass a point per second [adds "secs" to the board to form a word] which is why it is called...[notices what he has just written and the class starts laughing]..oops, not that."
In 9S geography 05/06, Mr Hoyle walks round with fly undone. Martyn sends a note to him: 'Sir, your fly is undone.' Mr Hoyle sends a note back: "Martyn, your shirt is untucked."
In 9R's lesson a rebellious child has flicked chewing gum onto the interactive board...
Hoyle: That wasn't there before, who put it there?
[pulls it off, stretches it between fingers and smells it]
Hoyle: Mmm, juicy fruit, my favourite!
[shows girl sat next to the bin his marvellous find... and pops it in the bin. Whole class sits in shock.]
- 11S registration - "I'm not blaming anyone, but I know it was you two."
- Dictating to an upper sixth class about AIDS. "the female doctor returned from Africa rather un well ("full stop"). She died ("full stop").
- Again "the spreading of aids has been put down to seamen" class bursts out laughing " yes well what other word could i have used" the word "sailor" gets muttered around the class. " oh yes, well i suppose that is better, i'll use that next year".
