Gareth Ashworth

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Revision as of 19:52, 11 October 2006 by Sentric (Talk)

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Gareth is in Upper 6th, and is the son of Mrs Ashworth, and one of the best under-eighteen chess players in the UK.

Appearance

Gareth Ashworth, better known to those that experienced years 9-11 with him as ‘Gaffro’, is famed half man half afro. In his earlier years in BRGS he would often forgo having a hair cut, sometimes over periods as long as six months. This dubious habit evidentially led to the discovery of his half human nature when his hair grew massively out of proportion to the rest of his body. Whilst Gareth now favours crew cuts in order to hide his biological essence from civilized society evidence of this earlier period of revelation can be found on one of the more recent school photos.

Whilst Gareth has almost fully embraced the dress code introduced in September 2006, often being visible in a full suit with a stylish shirt, there has been an incidence to the contrary. On September 27, 2006, he shocked many an occupant of the lower common room by entering bedecked with a bright yellow sombrero. This infringement of uniform was mostly ignored by staff and the older inhabitants of the lower common room but was considered unsuitable by Deputy Head Dr Edwards which resulted in the semi-postponed confiscation of the sombrero. This has since been 'retrieved' from Dr Edward's office as was evident when he was seen walking home from Bacup centre during heavy rain with the legendary hat firmly attatched to his head.


Life of Crime

While in school Gareth will rarely do anything to provoke punishment, however, rumour states that this does not extend to his life outside of school. Once while being served by one of the welfare staff he was referred to as 'Mafia'. From this, one can assertain the true reason for his regular purchasement of canteen meals; they are daily bribes to prevent the welfare staff from exposing his secret identity as the notorious gangster Bongo Extreme running the Bacup Mafia.

Further theories suggest that 'Bongo' was in fact also the financial backing behind Certaxe and Loko's Furniture 'Cleaning' business.

Sports

Gareth has never been particularly strong at the generally accepted sports such as football but is believed to have some skill at chess. He also has a fondness for pool, which is surprising as he's terrible at it, and has gone on to make several variations on the game: pin pool and Sentric Pool. He has yet to find anyone with the facilities to make Sentric Pool a possibility or anyone with the courage/stupidity to play it with him.

Nicknames

"Gaz"

"Gary"

"Gaffro"

"Gaff"

"'fro"

"Sentric"

"Senners"

"Bongo"

"Mafia"

Quotes

"Sheep are emo"

"...." (possible mafia connection?)

"WEAKSAUCE"

"Never say that again!" oft said to Tom Mitchell after an erruption of randomness eg "C'mon chicken feed"

"NINJAAAAH!" (Answering a register)