Jake Sutcliffe

Jake Sutcliffe, in 08B, is even madder than Ben Pointon. He likes the word "purple", the asdf movie and 'cyanide and happiness' videos on youtube. Jake has the uncanny ability to damage his eye. In year 7, he ran into a table and ended up with a black eye. Jake is one of only a few 'clever cloggs', or 'swots' as most people say, in 08. Could he possibly be related to Georgina Sutcliffe, Hannah Sutcliffe and/or Ben Sutcliffe?!

Nicknames

• Splendid
• Mr Splendid
• Effilctus (his last name backwards)
• Jakers
• Jade

Hobbies

• Playing guitar.
• Playing the tenor horn.
• Going to Junior Brass Band even though it is never on.
• He somehow manages to get black eyes from tables.
• Loathing tables.
• Being extremely bad at COD (his best kill streak is 4)
• Falling over when kicked in the hamstring

Talents

• Falling over after someone flicks/pokes him.
• Falling over thin air. Not just air, thin air.
• Being thought to be a chicken by the rest of 08B, yet he is the only person in the form to do a solo musical performance.
• Being generally odd.
• Telling cow jokes that some find rib tickling because the answer was so obvious (e.g. What do you get when you kill a cow? A dead cow!).

Quotes

• "Ow my eye."
• "I bet I can kick higher than you."
• "Ger ger gi ga ger."
• "No! I died!"
• "I'm melting!"
• "I'm not interested in oranges."
• "Thats purple."
• "You absolute.................sausage." (to a random year 11 that lost John King's bouncy ball)
• "I'm not wet, I'm moist."
• "Eat my dust, it's strawberry flavoured and one of your 5 a day."
• "You may be a black belt at karate but I've got bouncy legs."
• "Go to schnell."
• "OH Ambrose! you got toothpaste all over my pillow!" In Anglesey 2010
• "I learnt a new word...spoonerism!"
• "My favourite word is moist."
• "Insert name here, give me back my insert item here."
• "Big Mac + Ivan = big Ivan."
• (To Miss O'Hara) "Deutsch ist grosser aber Englisch." This translates to, "German is bigger than English."