Mrs Greaves

How many languages does Mrs Greaves speak? No-one knows, however, she taught Latin and French for a number of years.

Apparently she once fell through a chair (a nugget of info passed onto me by a parent during an open day), that must have been fun to watch.

One of her teaching methods for french is to make the class sing the verb. This, suprisingly, works for one verb in particular.

Quotes

• "Caecilius est in hoRRRRRRto"

• During a lunch time leaving party for pupil in her year 9 form (whilst changing music cassettes) "Look at me, I'm Fat Boy Slim"

• Trying to explain to a student the meaning of the Latin word 'lascivis': "You know, wanton, lascivious," (blank look from student) "erm, you know [vague hand gesture]...nookie, [blank look again] nookie nookie."

• (To a Y9 student before a French Exam)

Mrs Greaves: "Can you actually say the numbers one to ten... please?" Student: "Erm... sorry."

• Whilst teaching 7S 2003-2004 (now 10S 2006-2007), at the end of the lesson:

Mrs Greaves: "OK everyone, now pack up the books nicely. These are good quality books. I SAID DO NOT THROW THEM!"

Student: "Well, no, actually you said 'pack them away nicely'."

Mrs Greaves: "WHAT WAS THAT?!"

Student: "Oh, nothing Miss."

Mrs Greaves: "Now you can all stay behind 10 minutes for thinking that I was stupid enough to suppose that you wouldn't backchat me!"

(10 minutes later)

Mrs Greaves: "OK now 7S... you can go. I have no doubt that your Mummies and Daddies are worrying their heads off waiting for you at home."

• Once again whilst teaching 7S, on Valentine's day - singing Valentine Messengers are going around school delivering poems for people's loved ones. There is a knock on the door.

Valentino: "Can we come in, Mrs Greaves, we have important messages to deliver!"

Mrs Greaves: "I DO NOT CARE IF YOU ARE CUPID HIMSELF, WE ARE NICELY SETTLED AND WE WILL NOT HAVE ANY PATHETIC INTERRUPTIONS. I AM NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTED ABOUT WHO LOVES WHO IN THIS FORM... Actually, wait 5 minutes, you can come back after we have finished the test."

• Whilst teaching French to 7B, 2000-2001. Sixth Formers are having noisy japery on the slope outside Room 96. Mrs Greaves opens the window and shouts:

"IDLE GITS!"

Habits

• Referring to Classical poets, especially Catullus, as if they were still alive and turning up at dinner parties.
• Attempting to locate the Spring of Bandusia.
• Entering lessons with a compromising jam stain on her blouse. (admittedly occurred just once, in 2001)

Conjugation 101

Mrs.Greaves verb song:

 Je peux *shout* X
 Tu peux *shout* X
 Il peux *shout* T
 Elle peut *shout* T
 Nous pouvons *shout* O-N-S
 Vous pouvez *shout* E-Z
 Ils peuvent *shout* E-N-T 
 Elles peuvent *shout* E-N-T

In one of the most memorable verb songs, Mrs Greaves overenphasised the pronunciation of the verb, leading the class to believe it was correctly pronounced "peeeerrrrve".

 Je peux
 Je ne peux pas
 Tu peux
 Tu ne peux pas
 Ils pppeeeuuuv[ent]
 Ils ne pppeeeuuuv[ent] pas.