Difference between revisions of "Maths Bible"
m (3.85 seconds was a bit general, 3.1415926 is more fun) |
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=A Brief History= | =A Brief History= | ||
| − | It is sparsely known to most the origin of The Maths Bible. Some say it was a plot to lure unsuspecting students into an early future of back problems. Others say it was the maths teachers solution to doing nothing (that's right. Once you have done your homework, you can mark it yourself! Obviously no cheating goes on here). The truth is far different. It is stated that on the Fourth Day, God handed down a stone tablet bearing the bearings unto his faithful servant - Moses? Noah? No - Mr Reeves! From that day on, Mr Reeves proceeded to spread The Word of the Maths to all passers by. | + | It is sparsely known to most the origin of The Maths Bible. Some say it was a plot to lure unsuspecting students into an early future of back problems. Others say it was the maths teachers solution to doing nothing (that's right. Once you have done your homework, you can mark it yourself! Obviously no cheating goes on here). The truth is far different. It is stated that on the Fourth Day, God handed down a stone tablet bearing the bearings unto his faithful servant - Moses? Noah? No - [[Mr Reeves]]! From that day on, [[Mr Reeves]] proceeded to spread The Word of the Maths to all passers by. |
=The Gospel according to Circle Theorems= | =The Gospel according to Circle Theorems= | ||
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* Thou shalt not differentiate a non-continuous function. | * Thou shalt not differentiate a non-continuous function. | ||
* Thine probability shall be 0 or 1 or inbetween - never otherwise. | * Thine probability shall be 0 or 1 or inbetween - never otherwise. | ||
| − | * Thou shalt pronounce Cosh u not as Cos hu according to the teachings of Chapman. | + | * Thou shalt pronounce Cosh u not as Cos hu according to the teachings of [[Mrs_Chapman|Chapman]]. |
* Repent thine sines and signs. | * Repent thine sines and signs. | ||
* Thou shalt not randomly drop terms. | * Thou shalt not randomly drop terms. | ||
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"Find the angle marked with *" | "Find the angle marked with *" | ||
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| + | ==Surviving The Bible== | ||
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| + | A trick devised by some to make carrying the bible bareable is to make one poor soul carry it to school, and then pass it around various people throughout the day as they need it for their maths lessons. Then the poor person who carried it to school has to lug it home. The only problem with this is, if that one person forgets the book, you end up with roughly 5 people getting a penalty point... | ||
Latest revision as of 18:59, 14 December 2009
The Year 10's Maths textbook is the size of a small house. It is more than likely to break your back if you carry it for more than 3.1415926 seconds. Due to this fact and many more, it has been called...
Contents
THE MATHS BIBLE ECHO Echo echo
A Brief History
It is sparsely known to most the origin of The Maths Bible. Some say it was a plot to lure unsuspecting students into an early future of back problems. Others say it was the maths teachers solution to doing nothing (that's right. Once you have done your homework, you can mark it yourself! Obviously no cheating goes on here). The truth is far different. It is stated that on the Fourth Day, God handed down a stone tablet bearing the bearings unto his faithful servant - Moses? Noah? No - Mr Reeves! From that day on, Mr Reeves proceeded to spread The Word of the Maths to all passers by.
The Gospel according to Circle Theorems
Few people know about this sacred teachings, even few understand it; none of whom care. But the circle theorems teach us how to love one another as our neighbour, to treat everyone with respect and, most importantly, to always check that the opposite angles in a cyclic quadrilateral add up to 180 degrees.
The Ten Commandments
- Thou shalt be consistent with both sides of the equation.
- Though shalt not covet thine neighbouring terms's coefficients.
- Thy shall beware of the quadrants in complex numbers and vectors according to the Gospel of Reeves.
- Thou shalt not differentiate a non-continuous function.
- Thine probability shall be 0 or 1 or inbetween - never otherwise.
- Thou shalt pronounce Cosh u not as Cos hu according to the teachings of Chapman.
- Repent thine sines and signs.
- Thou shalt not randomly drop terms.
- Remember the square root of minus one and keep it imaginary.
- You shall not make for yourself a fudge factor.
Quotes
"Ship A travels at 25 km/h on a bearing of 110 degrees"
"All measurements are in centimetres"
"Find the angle marked with *"
Surviving The Bible
A trick devised by some to make carrying the bible bareable is to make one poor soul carry it to school, and then pass it around various people throughout the day as they need it for their maths lessons. Then the poor person who carried it to school has to lug it home. The only problem with this is, if that one person forgets the book, you end up with roughly 5 people getting a penalty point...
