Mrs Nelson

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Mrs Nelson (commonly known among older students as Miss Haslam) is unofficially the coolest teacher ever to exist at BRGS.

Specializing as Head of PSHE she tends to bring lessons to life and often condones talking amongst groups. She also makes the lessons fun for one reason or another. She is also renowned for wielding the infamous "red box" in PSHCE. Also in lessons invloving the box, she makes several double entendres.

This trend also continues within her Sociology classes.

Currently 06N's form tutor

Key Quotes

  • "Everybody yell boobs!"
  • "SHADAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP" (no one listens, however, she is the proud owner of a very loud and shrill whistle and proceeds to use it, deafening everyone within earshot.)
  • "Oi you two, shut up in the nicest possible way."
  • "Ticky tick tick, examiner's happy, right?"
  • (On being asked if she had sex quickly after having her first child) "oh I love it that you feel you can ask me these things!"
  • (On talking about sex and maturity) "You guys are so mature, when I was your age I was OFF THE WALLS! Absolutely insane, really weird. Still everyone thinks i am now"
  • It's not a dildo! It's just a plain, ordinary blue penis!
  • "Right guys!" (said at least 25 times each lesson)
  • "Right guys because I don't want you to be embaressed you've all gotta shout penis at the top of your voice... ok? PENIS!"
  • (While sat back, watching Kirsty and John arguing about gay rights) "This is fun, isn't it?"
  • (While in the middle of talking about sociology exams) "Oh Lapland was fun last year..."
  • (After explaining something) "Easy peasy?" (To which the class has to reply "lemon squeezy", or she will not continue)
  • "You're a pain in the a**e, Elliot!"
  • "Don't worry, the penis is coming"
  • You're on a roll love.

The Oliver Sikora Incident

In the middle of having a debate in a year 7 PSHE class about the effects of exams, it also turned out to be the end of the debate as well.

Miss Haslam: Now oliver, who are you representing?

Oliver: Im an ice cream man

Miss Haslam: interesting, and how would this affect you (while the entire class start laughing)

Oliver: Well if the pupils have to do exams, then they wont be able to buy my ice cream, so i would have to look somewhere else for business.

Miss Haslam: ALL OF YOU BE QUIET!!!!! Why wouldn't they buy your ice cream?

Oliver: Errrrm im not sure miss