Mr Stevens

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  • "Rhesus Monkey" but pronounced "Rhesus Mankaye".
  • "Wishy Washy" pronounced similarly.
  • (Students getting increasingly excited about the possibility that it may be a chip day) "its not a chip trust me its definitely not a chip day...I'm not telling you how I know but there's no point getting your hopes up because it is DEFINITELY not a chip day...IT IS NOT A CHIP DAY. (upon arriving at the canteen students found out that it was, in fact, a chip day!)
  • When talking about an experiment to see who takes longer in the bathroom, males or females...."Go to the bathroom and take a log"
  • "So your saying to me that worms come from sugar?"
  • "Just because you've got a penis doesn't mean your a boy"
  • "I'm very anal"
  • "Anal is technical"
  • "Width and depth are important"
  • "We could provide a psychological study on whether thinking actually affects our memory...... but you'd have to be dead to not think at all so its not a very effective process....its not ecologically valid nowadays"
  • "T.V. is for ignorant people"
  • "Friends are for weak people"
  • "...technically...that's deception. But we'll get away with that."