Mr Kenna

Background

Mr Kenna was only actully a supply teacher at BRGS, but made such an impression on the student body that he became one of the most high profile members of staff in his day! Hailing from Garston, Liverpool, Mr Kenna lived with his wife (or as he would put it, his 'good lady') on a farm near Fearns, enjoying his retirement from his job as head of Modern Languages in a rough Liverpool School. His proximity of residence to BRGS made his the ideal candidate when Doc Ed needed a cover teacher at short notice.

'Kenna'

At the start of any lesson with a new class, Mr Kenna would take some 15 minutes or so explaining that his surname was actually Kenna, and not McKenna, McKenzie, or any other such like name. The former Blackburn Rovers Premiership Winner Jeff Kenna was usually cited as an example of the correct version. However this lengthy ubiquitous monologue was usually incomprehensible to most due to Mr Kenna's thick Liverpudlian accent.

Catchphrases

No lesson with Mr Kenna would finish without him using the words 'craic' or 'ubiquitous'. Irrespective of the scouse accent, nobody knew what he was talking about.....

A House in the Sun

Every summer Mr Kenna and his 'good lady' would dissapear off to his summer residence in Southern France. Dispite this obvious show of wealth, Mr Kenna was convinced that all Grammar School pupils were rich snobs and even once shouted at a y.11 Biology class he was covering for Mr Fuller because he had crashed his hire van and had to pay the £100 excess. The class, bemused, struggled to show their genuine sympathy behind their raucous laughter!

Is there any work set sir!?

Mr Kenna would generally go to cover a lesson with a long list of tasks for them to perform. However, he would witter on at them for so long - on a range of subjects from ubiquitous guitars in 1960's Liverpool to enjoying the craic with Sixth Formers and how his 'good lady' misunderstood a phone call from his next door neighbour in France - that most of this work would remain unstarted, usually resulting in the class's origional teacher ending up most displeased. One time Jenni Winnard of the '96 intake had to acctually ask 'Is there any work set sir!?' in a vain attempt to shut him up.

Split Personality

Generally, pupils were delighted to see Mr Kenna walk through the door at the start of a lesson. It usually meant an hour and ten minutes of jovial banter and stories in place of the meanial tasks set by the absent teacher. however, every so often, the situation could turn sour, with Mr Kenna inexplicable turning into a manic depressive - slamming cupboard doors, kicking chairs, and screaming at innocent bystanders.

Situations

Mr Kenna "The name's Kenna, as in Jeff - not McKenna,, not McKenzie...Kenna"

Mr Kenna "I've got your mock GCSE German papers here. My good lady can't speak German, she's a bit stupid, but she could have done this!"

Mr Kenna "The difference between Foundation and Higher French is communication. My good lady would only be Foundation, because when my neighbour from France rang to tell her about a flood, she thought there was a problem, because she heard him say 'problème', but actually where wasn't, because he said 'pas de problème'. Stupid woman, cost me the price of a phone call!

Kathryn Black giggles in a year 10 French class....

Mr Kenna: How dare you laugh at me, who do you think you are young lady!?

A short period of silence....

Kathryn: Sir?

Mr Kenna: What?

Kathryn: How do you say 'the girl laughed' in French!?

Mr Kenna: In the 1960's, peiople walked around Liverpool with their ubiquitous guitar.

Mr Kenna: I love the Sixth Formers - we have great craic, if you'd pardon the expression.

In y.11 Biology, after a short rant about the economy...

Charlotte Aspin: Sir, please can I have a new book, this one is full.

Two more pupils make the same request.

Mr Kenna: NO! I don't know where they are. Do you expect me to go and ask people. I'm not that stupid - ARGH! *slams cupboard shut for no real reason*

Mrs Ormerod hears the kerfuffle and comes to y.11's rescue, bring 2 exercise books in from the Prep Room. Unfortunately, there were three people that needed one.....

Mr Kenna: Who asked first!? *throws book at them* Who asked second? *throws book at them* Now go to hell!