Mr Edwards

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Graphics teacher

DJ Eddie

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Mr Edwards is the Master of Ceremonies at school events, though his DJ-ing is better than his MC-ing

With his unique style, Mr Edwards is able to convert even the least planned events into a roaring success. Having years of valuable experience, nobody else comes close to running School Discos. However, even though he clearly likes disco music, or he wouldn't do discos, Mr Edwards also likes the German heavy metal group Rammstein, and claims to have seen them live in Scotland, where they set fire to the microphones, roast the keyboardist in a giant pot, and set fire to almost everything else. Mr Edwards is also a Head of Year (currently Year 10).

A Helping Hand

He is always willing to help should you have a problem - though some find he tends to sit with a face so serious it borders on comical. But we can forgive him for that as the advice he offers afterwards is always good. He's always ready to help you out, no matter what it is.

His Wood Work Skills

Mr. Edwards is exceptional talented in the profound art of sawing wood. He should go on 'Britain's Got Talent', doing a remake of 'Chopping wood, chopping wood, chopping as we go...'. He should make it to the semi-finals if he's as good as the original wood chopping man.

he has quite large feet .....

Magic Tricks

He is an under cover magician living in his school basement office/suite. He does tricks involving hair, his upper lip and his tie. Trick Number1: He gets a hair from his head (not facial hair) which is invisible to everyone but him, he then ties it around his upper lip and pulls it so his lip jerks to one side. Trick Number2: He gets a thread from the tie (still attached to the tie) which is invisible to everyone but him, he then picks the tie up near the knot and pulls the thread to make the tie flop about. (Sorry if any of this is hard to understand, it's hard to explain without typing five paragraphs)

'The Jacket Thing'

He also does that thing when he's talking to you of holding on to his jacket and pulling it outwards.. dunno why exactly..

Can the following pupils...

Mr Edwards likes to get the classes attention by saying "can the following pupils please report to me after class for detentions/penalty points/to be kept in. Everybody goes quiet and he then continues with his lesson. It is unkown whether he has actualy given anyone a punishment like this.


  • "You'll just have to guestimate"
  • "Is everybody totally tie-tastic today?"
  • "Right"(then clasps hands together)

He likes to say things that end with "age" much to Kirsten's amusement. LINKAGE.

  • "Right thats okay then, the three people can be sorted with detentions for defiance"
  • "Uniform check - OK great." (students have as much imperfections or clothes as possible)
  • "Is everybody uniformificated?"
  • Would the 3 people chewing please empty their mouths (You never quite know who he means when he says this, and so if generally ends in about 7 people trailing to the bin)
  • "Shane, stop fighting with Nicola"
  • "You have exactly 7 and a half minutes to do that."
  • "Stink bombs are a dangerous health risk..."

Mr E:(while colouring in a picture he goes off the line)(whispers)"Oh sh**" "thats supposed to happen" "Righty tighty, lefty loosey"