Mrs Sellens

Quotes

"shush, shush, shush"

"let's have a mass debate"

"Everyone wants to be wild, to be free, to dance naked in the woods!" (Referring to how the characters in Arthur Miller's "The Crucible" were acting entirely normally)

"Ideas, Attitudes, Values" (whilst clicking fingers in triangle)

"Puuuuuuuuubic Haaaiirr" (describing Rapunzel's' Hair)

"Sex is EVERYWHERE!"

"It's instinct, they just at the drop of a hat" (on the topic of monkeys)

"Someone asked me what dew was. I know they've never been outside but still.."

"I'm a tiger. Roar!"

"'Prick of noon', here Shakespeare is suggesting an erection" Romeo and Juliet analysis for GCSE (shortly after the wedding and just before Mercutio dies).

"Sssssseassssssonsssss of misssssst and mellow fruitfullnesssssssss" whilest reading some poem or another in the GCSE anthology. Took about 5 times as long to read as it would if she hadn't got a lisp.

"I want to motivate you to finish your coursework before Friday. I'll bring in sweets for those people who finish, I'll even bring in a whip" - Comment directed at Karl Peel during a year 10 coursework lesson

"Ok, your story can be as fanciful as you like, you can do it about anything, unicorns, timetravel machinces, anything" *writes story about an american sniper* "Its good, but don't you think its a little far fetched"

Mrs Sellens: "I've had enough. BEN GET OUT!"

• Ben picks up his books and moves towards the door*

Mrs Sellens: "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" Ben: "You just told me to go out" Mrs Sellens: "Oh. Well, I've changed my mind, go and sit down there"

(Whilst reading Macbeth) "Like the cat in the adage..."(emits a very high pitched and strange sounding) "MEEEEEEOOOOOW"

[Whilst Writing An Essay On Murder Mystery Stories For GCSE English] Sellens: "Can anyone suggest a good murder mystory?" Student: "Scary Movie!" Sellens: "Is that a muder mystory?" (another) Student: "Yes Sellens: "What rating is it?" (yet another) Student: "12 miss. It's a 12. I have it on video" Sellens: "Well, if you bring it in, we can watch it next lesson" [Next Lesson] Sellens: "Ok, we have to be quiet, Dr Robbinson is ouside"

• pause

Sellens: "How do I work this thing?"

• Steff turns the TV on
• Scary Movie plays...

(For those of you who haven't seen it, Mrs Mann is a transexual teacher) TV: "We all have our little secrets...."

• Mrs Mann's balls fall out of her shorts

Sellens: "OK, OK, I think thats enough for today"