Mr Overend

Precis

• Possibly the greatest man the world has ever known. That is all.
• We came to the conclusion the 'P' in his initials 'SPO' stood for Poraig. Whereas his middle name is in fact Padraig so not far off.
• He is yet to learn about the wonder that is deodorant.

Quotes

"Indians eh? Pillows you say...?" Somehow this is related to The Crucible apparently.

"sir: Were going to watch a harry potter! student: sir is it hairy potter and the chamber of sex toys? sir: yes, yes, that one!"

"Ok Ok I'm not here I'm on Mars"

"Right I've made a mental note of who's here" (everyone marked present even if absent)

"Right... All here" (to room with three people)

(Before tutorial) "You're leaving are you? No. Sit down, we're doing something this week. Oh....erm... off you go"

"You're on a beach with the sun beating down. Not too hot, mind. Just nice and comfortable."

"Hmm... yes... right... OK..."

"Bone away now." (Strange mispronunciation of 'phone')

Student: "Sir, say something funny!"

Mr Overend: (With chav-esque 'innit' hand gesture) "Ho ho ho! sick, man!"

"OK, Susan... are those the words of Harper Lee? I think not."

Talking of taboo language: "Fuck is no more a swear-word than, say, chair." Then added, "it's just how we associate words with certain things." [and, to be honest, many people would agree with him]

(walking out doors of room 10) EDDIE! (wordlessly walks back in)

To horrified pupil after getting a bit too into one of his lessons: Oh I'm sorry...I appear to spitting all over you!

"Take it eeeeeesay!"

SHOUTS: "You will not make me mad!" (Whilst staring, with a vein popping out of his head, and counting to ten)

"a ROSE by any other name... so if i called a rose a... a..... BOLGERJUJADA!!" - whole class jumps to attention, worried that sir is having a seizure....

"Emma Bosher, stop looking at that plant!"

"What do you think you're doing? Making bloody gestures behind my back... i'm trying to teach a lesson... GET ON WITH YOUR WORK!"

"OK so for Thursday yeah yeah...." ... "Sir we don't have you on Thursday" ... "Yeah ok then so for Thursday's lesson" ... "Sir we don't have you... can we hand it in on Friday?" ... "Ok yeah so Thursday it is."

Mr O pops his head round door of computer room into libary "Right yeah so we're getting on with our course work yeah?" Student:Yeah! (Whilst playing scrabble or other such games) Mr o, "Ok that's fantastic. So we're getting on with our coursework yeah!"

Mr o "turn around and stop being a dickhead!"

"yeah...yeh...yeahh"

"Yeah, yeah, ok..... stay with the lesson please..." *one hand on his chin in a thinking position, the other attempting to control the class by conducting his index and little finger at people to silence them, roving around the pupils as they work* "Yeh, yeh come on now, stay with it ok? Are we working, Susan? I think not.. Sshhhhhhh, ssshhhhhhhhh.. ok yeh get on with your work.. Ok Carly it's not that funny.. THURSDAY, yeh THURSDAY ok?"

• student "sir how do we no that romeo and juliet are in love"

 MR O "they've just had sexual intercouse" 
 student "whats that?"
 MR O " oh come ON now"

AWESOME THINGS THAT MR OVEREND HAS DONE/HAD DONE TO HIM

After we put on my video of Hot Shots in room 10 while he wasn't looking, the sound came on ridiculously loudly in the class, but not on the white board screen, as the projector wasnt switched on, causing him to think that one of US was emitting this loud noise about not copying videos, and marched round the room putting his ear next to all of us at the back, then, (as trailers for other films started to play)realised that it was coming from the speakers at the front, and tried to force the DVD player (that wasn't even switched on) open. He then asked for assistance, at which point we denied blankly even being able to hear anything. 5 minutes of searching later, he finally found the source of the noise amongst all of us pissing our selves laughing, and switched it off, saying, "very funny, very funny, well done you got me there..." (he had grown used to this sort of behaviour having had it for 2 years.)

Ziggy stole the remote control to the projector in T5, and spent the entire lesson zooming in on the screen and Mr Overend had no idea which of the 15 of us had it.

We found some red ink in the cupboard, (probably during one of the times where we'd hide in the closet until half way through the lessons and then jumping out saying that we had been dueling with Voldemort), and i put loads of the red ink on a tissue and then (clutching them to my face), as Overend entered, ran out yelling that i had been punched in the face and i needed to go wash my nose. 10 easy minutes out of English.

Me and Sheepy started up a planned racial argument: Sheepy: (struggling to read from Of Mice And Men) "Errr, Lennie said to George..." Quinny: "Sheepy you can't even speak English you fat hungarian bast*rd" Sheepy: "Sir, i'm not having this racial intolerance...." (stands up and leaves according to plan) Quinny: "Ye you better run you fat hungarian, burn some calories" Overend: "Now, now calm down John..." (clearly not in control) 5 minutes of Sheepy's scheduled time out of English passes, and he returns, with an orange cone frm the astro turf. Sheepy: "I'm gonna kill him sir...." Overend: (in a huge panic thinking Sheepy actually wants to kill me) "whoa, no Joe put that down!!" (rushes to take it off him) Quinny: (stands up) "Bring it fatty!" Overend eventually starts to take a bit of control after we'd ran out of scripted lines...and begins on a 10 minute explanation about how international the class is and how we should all get on despite our differences!!!!This is where we made the discovery that he is Northern rather than Southern Irish, and used that in future weeks in more distractions.

Thrown an MP3 player across room 10, after countless times of music suddenly blaring out from Sheepy's phone, and having already confiscated the MP3 off me, and then me standing up and calling him gay, to which he replies,

     "GAY!!! YOU'RE THE ONES WHO'RE BEING GAY!!" Quinny:"What have i done sir???"

Overend:"Well, maybe not you John, but a lot of your attitudes need to change!!" Overend turns green and goes 10 foot tall. Dropped Sheepy's BRAND NEW phone out of the window after many similar instances of playing music, to which Sheepy stood up and told sir where to go.... Yelled at Danny Wilkin...something about going to beat him up....

Danny: "Are WE DONE NOW SIR??"

Overend: Looking back over his shoulder, and sounding like a gruff super villain, "ohhhh we're a long way from over". We all thought Danny didn't have long to live.... Been teacher of a yr 11 class from Hell in 2005/6,who made him do all these things. AND MORE, SO MUCH MORE THAT I CANT BEGIN TO WRITE IT. --Quinny 17:42, 21 October 2006 (GMT Standard Time)[[1]]

Despite the fact that most of year 11 06/07 were very well behaved that lesson, one pupil decided that it would be fun to throw several bangers bought at "cheap Pete's" and as Mr. O was writing several lines of dribble about a severely boring book, these bangers all exploded simultaneously next to Mr. O on the whiteboard and in his anger threatened to expel us all and that he would not get angry and hit anyone yet because he was enjoying his job at the moment.

One lesson somebody threw a pencil case and it hit him, he turns around and say why did you do that? Someone replies "because he is cool" Mr Overend the shouts " BECAUSE HE IS COOL!!!" then he kicks over a table and punches a white board.

Further things he has done

Whilst having the projector on, a student (from the class from hell 05-06, as mentioned above) typed in 'wanker' on the username so the whole class started laughing. Mr O turned around just as the person was trying to delete it...not surprisingly he wasnt too pleased, yet took the accusation quite well by going red in the face and screaming "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME!!!!"

(Same class) Different student, being quite bored with whatever task had been set, realised how Mr O's name rhymed with other words, and started saying 'Bend Overend, bend Overend haha..', to which Mr O came over, and quietly began to talk to her, before getting exceedingly angry; 'I won't have my name being made fun of from people like YOU!' *scrunches up paper that student has absent-mindedly been shredding, and throws it at her'

whilst sitting in a silent class a student waves to her friend across the room. Overend sees red : 'STOP MAKING STUPID HAND GESTURES ACROSS THE ROOM THAT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS!!!!!'

The Legendary April Fools Day Lesson '04 (written by the main culprit)

This is now legendary and is all true. the basis is that we barraged the door shut from inside after agreeing to arrive 5 mins early to prepare. we stuck bin liners across the window in the door and told mr overend this room no longer existed, only from the outside. as he got angier he asked for out help, so with it being room 57 we left via the fire exit which we closed behind us to help him from the other side. as you can imagine this was futile. the only way back in was through the window, which jordan climbed through with ease. he then opened the door and removed the desks. stating that he had found mr overends cat, which he had lost in a previous lesson. the chair was the next prank, a chair, looking like a chair was actually a seat resting on 4 wonkey unjoined legs. mr overend, thinkin the prank was over, sat on this chair and met the floor with a bang from the waterballoon placed tactically under the chair. a now irate and wet mr overend stared at the back wall where he found pictures of naked women pinned to the notice boards. in amongst all the commotion, adam had slyly slipped a phone into mr o's bag, with the ringtone 'I am mr overend and i am a twat!' the vein was a'poppin, and the sweat was dripping, even more than usual! this fiasco was topped off by the video he had brought us to watch, switched again by adam, he pressed play on te video and moans and groans from a pornstar eminated across the room. but then the icing on the cake was the video remote thrown across the room above jordans head, smashing against the fuse box and cutting all power to the newchurch block, the canteen, the music department and the english and art rooms. oh what a day!

The (Almost As Legendary) Leavers Day Party

Mr Overend was, as all cool teachers would do, throwing a party for his Yr11 (2005-2006) class, on the last day that they had lessons.

... to be continued ...