Difference between revisions of "Mr Haycocks"

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[[Image:Haycocks.jpg|thumb]]
 
Mr Haycocks had a wide and varied history at BRGS, from [[English]] teacher to Head of IT, from Head of English to Webmaster. In his current incarnation, he has filled [[Doc Rob]]'s King-Sized boots when the grandmaster himself retired at the end of 2007. A king amongst [[Teachers]] making [[English]] tolerable again. He left at the end of the 2009 - 2010 term.
 
  
==Secret Lemonade Ginger==
 
 
Despite many years of cultivating a darkened 'do, it is known to some of the more wily BRGS students that Don Haycogrio has a not-so-dark secret: he's ever so slightly redheaded. This is only slightly obvious by his dyed, jet black hair and outrageously ginger sideburns.
 
 
==Quotes==
 
 
*"Adam where is your brain? Still in Robert's crotch?"
 
 
*To woman in [[The Jolly Sailor]]: ''Don't be a stranger.''
 
 
*To [[Heskey]] in [[English Language]] lesson: ''James, may I just say that you are looking '''sexual''' today.''
 
 
*While handing a student a funsize Cadbury Fudge: ''Here you go Lewis, go and pack yourself full of fudge''
 
 
*''Maybe Romeo was thinking with his little head rather than his big head, but don't put that in your coursework''
 
 
*Said with ruler down his pants to illustrate opening scene of Romeo and Juliet, ''Me they shall feel while I am able to stand'', flipping the bendy ruler which was down his pants open... He then spotted a flexi-ruler and exclaimed, ''This would have been better!''.
 
 
*Appearing behind [[James Hesketh|Heskey]] & [[Wesley Pauline|Wez]]: ''Ah my two favourite students, it's like sex on four legs!''
 
 
*''There are lots of ways to seriously disturb a child'' (Talking about playing peek-a-boo)
 
 
*''For the last five minutes we'll do solvent sniffing''
 
 
*''Friday night I dress up in a nappy and a dummy and go down to a fetish club and have a whale of a time''(When someone commented on how much he seemed to enjoy making the baby noises)
 
 
*''Would you go and rub off the penis please [[Heskey]]?'' (Referring to a penis drawn on the door-window between Room 74 and 83.)
 
 
Mr Haycocks: "I have 34 frogs in my pond"
 
[[Alex Hargreaves|Al]]: "You sat and counted them?"
 
Mr Haycocks: "Yeah!"
 
 
*''My favourite musical as a child was The Sound of Music... I really should have been gay.''
 
 
*''Did you know that a certain scientist believed all adopted males would find it kinky to get it on with their biological mothers? ...I'm adopted.''
 
 
*In an American accent: ''Afta: I've 'ad ma brother, Ah'll 'av sex wi' the chickens!''
 
 
*''Oh Jade, I could just thrust my tongue down your throat - but that'd be very inappropriate!''
 
 
*''[[Gareth_Ashworth|Gazza]] - Tell us about your kok!'' (Discussing the phonology of children's words. ''kok'' being the phonological spelling of the word the child was attempting to say)]]
 
 
*''Up against the wall please [[Heskey]].'' (Taking pictures for the 'Little Shop of Horrors' programme)
 
 
*[computer in classroom isn't working]
 
Al: Treat it like a lady sir!
 
Mr Haycocks in odd purring voice: Oooooo, come on (stroking the monitor lovingly)
 
 
*Student: All this talk of cream is making me feel hot.
 
Mr Haycocks: Save it for later
 
Student: You mean for you, don't you sir?
 
Mr Haycocks smiles and nods enthusiastically.
 
 
[[Category:Past Teachers|Haycocks, Mr]]
 

Revision as of 05:05, 24 November 2010