Ben Brown

Friends with Sky West (but he's more than friends with sky), Hannah Potts and Bethan Gregory.

Quotes

"I am being a pedantic RETARD!!!!!"

"The meaning of life is to keep clean."

Master of all puddles?

By his insane logic, inspired by the word wiki he claims to be the master of all puddles. The thought runs something like this:

1. Wiki means wee key, scottish for a small key.
2. A small key opens a small lock.
3. Convert this back into scottish, a small lock is a wee lock.
4. In scotland loch (like lock) means lake.
5. A wee loch (small lake) is a puddle.
6. Ben owns a small key, which opens small locks.
7. Because Ben owns the key he is the master of all puddles.

I told you the logic was insane. By some other weird unexplainable brain process he reasons the meaning of life is to keep clean. This is partly due to the impossible logic, and is proved by the fact that it is smoethnig Ben is incapable of doing. He can't keep clean, and he is a pointles creatuer, so wouldn't be able to achieve it anyway. This isn't just someone being cruel, Ben actually said these things.