Dr Jackson

Dr Jackson is a Biology teacher. Her lessons are usually immensely and unnecessarily complex, but delivered at a pace that would shame Esio Trot. The result of this is that even the most eager students are stupefied. She claims to have spent time in South America curing people of a super virus. However, with her andante speed, it is debatable how many people she will have actually cured.

Dr. Jackson as biped: a step-by-step guide

• Watch her walk and you may notice she has a slight limp.
• Then wait until she is sat on a stool or chair.
• If her pants are short enough, observe the ankles.
• You will see that her socks are pulled up high.
• Bake at Gas Mark 3 for 30 minutes.
• You will also notice that one lower leg is much larger that the other.
• Many students believe this may be caused by a peg leg.
• Do not mix metric and imperial measurements.
• Talk when she tells you to be quiet and watch in amazement as her eyes seem to bulge out of their sockets and glare at you.

Soon they will pop, If not then she could go for the world record and beat that black woman! Go Jackson

• During an uneventful and therefore boring lesson, Dr. Jackson places a woollen model of the digestive system on the desk in front of her, and proceeds to penetrate the anus with her finger - the running commentary was not necessary, though.

Diagnosis: Murder?=

During Kroll's D of E mystery meltdown, Doctor Jackson reported that heat stroke was not to blame, citing that his reactions were better than hers. It is believed that the good doctor used a complex procedure to reach this diagnosis, involving the waving of a biscuit near Kroll's face. The scarring on her hand should have healed fully by 2009.

Quotes

"Noddy Diagrams."

• "Minging? Right then. Let's have minging tomatoes!"

• "GOOD MORNING HAPPY PEOPLE!!!"

• "Can anyone tell me two good places where to stick it?" (During Critical Thinking, talking about conclusions)

• To student : "ARE YOU EATING SWEETS UNDER THAT TABLE?!"

"No, it's cheese."

Jackson : "CHEEEEEE-EEEEESE!!!!"

• "That's number NINE on the ratty scale."

• (in an alien/Italian accent during a yr 7 lesson) "Ze martian is here!"

• (used numerous times) "I'll hang you from the nearest lampost!"

• "Someone take that boy outside and shoot him" (to a poor year 7 after drawing in pen!)

Nicknames

Captin crazy eyes on the jolly jackson. ARR!

Ratty.