Dr Ellis

Dr Ellis appeared in a L6 Christmas Quiz in the "Teacher Baby Photos" round. Incidentally, his team won the quiz, and he was presented his certificate in a Year 7 Year assembly, so he could be applauded by his form. Stage fright kicked in, somewhat.

More commonly known as Trellis, Drellis ... or Dr "Love Doctor" Ellis. Is famous for his ability to understand the need for colouring in activities and his knowledge of Korfball.

Quotes

• "Nobody's listening to me..."

• "When I die I won't have Rigor Mortis. But when someone notices I'm not around, and they find me in a couple of weeks time, then I'll have Rigor Mortis!" (worth pointing out that this isn't true, as Rigor Mortis fades after 72 hours)

• When asked if he wanted to be buried, cremated, pickled or fried when dead "I want to be cut up an fed to the pigs. It's more environmentally friendly".

• In one of his end of topic revision tests, "Charles Darwin was Born with a Beard".

• In same test..."True or false. DNA DOES stand for Deoxyidonotlooklikejohnosheaneuclaic acid"

• Drellis - It's just like milking a shrew

Student - why would you want to milk a shrew?
Drellis - (like it is the most obvious thing in the world) To get shrew milk!"

• "You can only get oily by touching yourself" (explaining how hands can get greasy)

Fishy Ones

• "All my fish are called "Bob" and "Fred""

Student: Why do you call them Bob sir? Dr Ellis: (again like it is the most obvious thing in the world) Because that's what they call each other. (opens mouth like fish) Bob Bob Bob.

• "How do you tell if a fish is female?"

• "How do you tell if a fish is pregnant?"

• "Do you think I need more fish?"