Staffroom

Observations

The best images we had

Until recently Students' observations of the staffroom had been much like those made of Pluto - black and white, blurred and grainy. Though imperfect, our knowledge of this mysterious place was extrapolated by staff hearsay, and guesswork.

Observations of the staffroom began in the 'Behind the scenes' series, featured in The Squirrel 1999 edition. The article displayed several images of the staffroom, namely Mr Brackstone's "famous mug"; the kitchen area and the pigeon holes. A famous few pupils found there way into the staffroom in early 2005. What they found was a magical place that was unassumingly large, with such 'wonderous' wonders as Mr Ventress' hat and bicycle.

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Health

It has been recently discovered that the air-conditioning company had hatched a plan about 5 years ago to kill half of the teachers in school, namely those using the new staff room. Every so often, most of the teachers in the new staff room got quite ill and missed several days from work.

The reason, it transpired, was that the good people at Air Con Co., or whatever their name is, had installed the air conditioning fan in backwards, causing approximately 80% of the air inside the room when it was first made to stay in there until a few weeks ago, circulating bacteria and disease with it. Subsequently, since the air con was fixed the teachers have complained how cold the air conditioning is, and also that it can't be turned up or down..

Some laughed, but the teachers mainly coughed a lot.