Mrs Sharp

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Biography

Mrs Sharp is an A-Level Computing "teacher", who occasionally participates in lower school maths lessons. For you guys who don't know Mrs Sharp, you'll find her down Waterfoot with her school CHUM Mrs Read romantically dining at lunch, frequently visiting Cordey's. She is best identified by her apparent lack of problem solving ability. When faced with a problem she will fall back into one of four pre-installed modes.

1) Consulting VisualBasic for dummies.
2) Deleting several lines of code and then saying "I'm just going to walk over..........." leaving before she finishes the sentence

3) Asking the most able member of the class she is teaching for help.
4) Saying "I'll let you have a little play with that."

Quotes

(in 8S Maths)

  • "You can stop staring into each other's eyes now..."


(in yr 9 IT)

  • Sharp: "I'm watching you very closely Chris!" (pointing at Richard)
  • Chris: "I'm over here miss" (from a completely different side of the room)
  • Sharp: "Oh.. right.. sorry"


(legendary form time)

  • Wez: "I had sex with a sea turtle!"
  • Sharp: "Oh really, and where did this happen?"


  • Sharp: "WHAT'S THAT!?"
  • Molly: "It's a bra miss, ladies wear them."


  • Sharp [to Andrew Davies] : Oh! I expected you to have a more oriental name! - Number 1 (Top 10 Quote)


  • Sharp: "Will this work?"
  • Jonathan: "No Miss, you'll need to.."
  • Sharp: "I'll try it.... OH! It doesn't work"


  • "Look, I've taken advanced cabling courses, we need crossover..."

[several minutes of trying to make a crossover cable work when really, she needed a parallel cable]

  • "...the server must be down"


  • Karl: "My project is about a chicken farm."
  • Sharp: "I was a chicken in a school play once....." *acts like a chicken, clucks and mimics laying an egg*


  • Dave Tatt walks into the room,
  • Sharp: [pointing at Dave] You missed your I.T. lesson at Fearns today Chris so I'm putting you on referral"
  • Dave: "What the hell are you talking about? I don't do I.T. and my name's not Chris"
  • Sharp: "I'm not listening to your excuses Chris!"


  • Sharp: "I'm definately going to do karaoke!!.... IIIISS THIS BURNING, OUR ETERNAL FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME"


(Upon teaching the class of 9S how to use Audacity, Mrs Sharp delivered a rap down the microphone to a pre-recorded drum beat)

  • "I'm in year nine and I'm doing real fine, Got my GCSE, and it's going reeeeeaaal sweet. I like IT and doing... good things......

BIDDY BUM BIDDY BUM!"

    • This rap now seems legendary amongst the 9S of 2004-5


  • "Let's play with our variables!"


(also to 9S of 04/05)

  • Sharp: "JONTY is that a rubber in your pocket??"
  • Student "...or are you just pleased to see me?"


  • Sharp: "Ok, I'll let you go early as long as you're quiet"

[Students leave "woop"ing]

  • Sharp: "Remind me next week to give those lads a refferal"

Upon teaching 9S of 2005-2006, now 10S 2006-2007.


Sharp * I have had enough of your insolence, now go stand outside!*

Martyn walks out the classroom

Sharp * Yes you keep going, right into the middle of the hall & pray the headmaster comes past!

30 minutes later..

Michael * Miss can we get martyn back into the lesson now?

Sharp * What ? i never sent him out

Whole form * Yes you did !

Sharp * ah ok. (goes to look outside the classroom door)

Sharp * he isn't there. maybe he went wondering.

Jory * No miss you sent him to stand in the middle of the hall

Sharp * No i didnt, i would have remembered if i had. Actually, maybe i did.... hmm everyone get on and carry on with your websites!

Comes back in 2 minutes with later with Martyn.. " ok then maybe you were right. "

She's such a skitzo!!!

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