Mrs Sharp

Biography

Mrs Sharp is an A-Level Computing teacher, who occasionally participates in lower school maths lessons. She is best identified by her apparent lack of problem solving ability. When faced with a problem she will fall back into one of four pre-installed modes.

1) Consulting VisualBasic for dummies.

2) Deleting several lines of code and then saying "I'm just going to walk over here".

3) Asking the most able member of the class she is teaching for help.

4) Saying "I'll let you have a little play with that."

Quotes

"You can stop staring into each other's eyes now..."

(in 8S Maths:)

Sharp: "I'm watching you very closely Chris!" (pointing at Richard)

Chris: "I'm over here miss" (from a completely different side of the room)

Sharp: "Oh.. right.. sorry"

(in yr 9 IT)

Wez: "I had sex with a sea turtle!"

Sharp: "Oh really, and where did this happen?"

(legendary form time)

Sharp: "WHAT'S THAT!?"

Molly: "It's a bra miss, ladies wear them."

Sharp [to Davies] : Oh! I expected you to have a more oriental name!

Sharp: "Will this work?"

Jonathan: "No Miss, you'll need to.."

Sharp: "I'll try it.... OH! It doesn't work"

"Look, I've taken advanced cabling courses, we need crossover...[several minutes of trying to make a crossover cable work when really, she needed a parallel cable]...the server must be down"

Karl: "My project is about a chicken farm."

Sharp: "I was a chicken in a school play once.....*does a chicken dance, clucks and mimics laying an egg*"

Dave Tatt walks into the room,

Sharp: [pointing at Dave] You missed your I.T. lesson at Fearns today Chris so I'm putting you on referral"

Dave: "What the hell are you talking about? I don't do I.T. and my name's not Chris"

Sharp: "I'm not listening to your excuses Chris"