Mrs Hollick

Who?

Mrs. Hollick is head of the art department at BRGS, and forms an inimitable double act with Mrs Mansfield. The self-contained nature of the art block and the use of the middle room as art department HQ can frequently be seen to distance Mrs Hollick from the rest of the school, but her presence can be felt throughout as a BRGS legend. Rumoured to wear a purple thong; supposed 'sightings' having occurred 5 years apart. Throughout the year of 2005/2006, she has often been seen fiddling around with a strange garment rumoured to be worn by the legendary 'manchild'- a 25cm tall manequinn, complete with a detachable bird's skull. Mrs Hollick is also the proud owner of a box of dead crabs.

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Running joke since 1984

Yes, if you rewrite her name as 'Al' K. Hollick, it is amusing. Tee hee hee. This has been discovered by nearly every Year 7 class since the mid-80s. Don't think you're special.

On the motherland

• (Jack banging desks) "Stop it! It reminds me of my home country."

On substance abuse

• Student: "Miss, do you have any gel medium?"

Mrs Hollick: "Gin medium? That's a bit of a waste!"

• (Student hitting banana with a wine bottle)

"Oooh, it's oozing!... Give it a wham!"

• Student-"what do you think i should add to my painting?"

Mrs.Hollick-"It needs some bleach!!""

On gaming

• "The new Xena Nintendo game comes out on Monday!"
• "Does anybody know how to play Shrek 2 on Gameboy?"
• "Ive played on resident evil and it isnt scary!"

General mischief

• (Looks at student in a puzzled, distasteful fashion)

Student: "What's wrong?"

Mrs. Hollick: "Nothing. I'm just winding you up."

• "Luke, if I give you a brick, will you go outside and throw it at the builders?"
• "What's red and black and bangs on the window? A baby in a microwave!"
• (To student) "Life's a bitch!" (Rest of the class go silent and look shocked) "Well it is!"
• Mrs Bamford: "I didn't know you did art."

Mrs Hollick: "Well, he tries!"

Student: "That's my morale booster for the week..."

"It needs some colour! He's dead! It doesnt matter what colour he is!!"

• Student eating a banana in room 68 with no teacher. Mrs Hollick walks in, sees him eating, looks slighty bemused and says " don't let Mrs Bamford see you, she'll go bananas! HAHAHA" and walks off laughing.

On technology

• "Well if you don't move into the modern age, you'll end up sat in a chair dribbling on yourself."
• To Mrs Mansfield: "It's your music, stuff the kids."