Mr Wilkinson

Well known for setting random questions at the end of tests, such as "Now that you have finished, draw a picture of a badger"

Mischeivous Streak

He likes to freeze the projector screen, and secretly use Ranger, as shown in this testimonial of a sixth-form Physics class:

The evil mastermind sets the class work on the computers, whilst secretly hatching a mischeivous plan. As the unsuspecting Emily Lester sits at her computer, innocently getting on with work, something mysterious beings to happen. Her mouse cursor begins to move on it's own, making it's way slowly to the bottom left of the screen to the "start" button. As the cursor takes a life of its own, cautiously moving through the menus toward accessories, paint, Emily begins to be worried. Paint opens, and the cursor, still with a life of it's own starts to draw out letters: first P, followed by an O and another O. As a small crowd of students appear around her computer as she explains what events just transpired, Mr Wilkinson makes his way over - his eternal grin stifled beneath his attempts to hide his amusement. As the crowd look on in wonder at the acheivements of the mouse cursor, Mr Wilkinson breaks into a huge grin and begins to chuckle. He can't hold it in any longer. Emily turns round:

"Oh my god! It was you!"

Mr Wilkinson breaks into full blown laughter as the class join in.

He got his old physics teacher sacked in high school for singing Galileo by Queen repeatedly with his class whenever his teacher said Galileo, whilst he was being watched by an offsted nspector!

General Studies

Even he admits that the subject is a waste of time...

He looks like he uses Lipliner, though when asks hurridly denies this.

Inventions

Here is the list of things Mr Wilkinson is known to have invented so far:

• jam
• gravity
• the internal combustion engine

Quotes

Francesca: "Sir, look at Jasmine's drawing! It looks like E.T!" Sir: "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" Jasmine: "YOU SIR!"

• Student: "Sir, are you happy that Spice Girls are back together?"
  • Sir: "Yes, I was crying for days when they broke up"

• Student:"Sir, isn't Shaun fat?"
  • Wilkinson: "Yep, he's a right porker that one" *prods belly*

• Wez and Tom keep saying Chris has a love-bite
  • Wilkinson: Leave him alone
  • Wilkinson: So, who did it?

• "Can anyone tell me the mass of a llama?"

• Sir: "Just give the rod a good rub and it should..." *rod doesn't do whatever it is supposed to do* "Oh... well ermm..."
  • Student: "Sir, I don't think your rod works"
    • Sir: "Steady on! Let's not start that rumour!"

• Student: Sir, do you wear Lipliner?
  • Wilkinson[rapidly, going red]: No, whats Lipliner?

• Calum: "Sir, we did this in chemistry yesterday..."
  • Wilkinson: "Really? Who's your chemistry teacher?"
    • Calum: "Mr Ashton"
      • Wilkinson: "Is he the one who looks like the BFG?"

• Wilkinson: (Whilst showing the difference with the symbol for density and momentum) The gay P and the normal P.

• Wilkinson: Phil, take off that gay top
  • Katie: That's MY top!
    • Wilkinson: OK, but on a lad it looks a bit ... gay
      • Phil: What's wrong with gay peopl sir?

"who are you locker boy" year 8 boy looks terrified "thats your new name locker boy"

Lookalikes

Though it may be little known, he has somehow infiltrated his clone into the school, James Greenwood of 9G or Michael Blight, who bears uncanny resemblance to him. After a cover geography lesson with his clone and his form he saw how well young James settled after his transfter from Wilkinson Cloning Inc. The proud look on his face showed his happiness. He also answers to the name James sometimes. We do urge Mr Wilkinson to come forth and tell the science community the secret of cloning for the greater good of mankind. He has so far refused and threatened to set his army of clones with bees in their mouths on us so when they shout they shoot bees at us, as opposed to his army of clones or his army of bees or the hounds. At this threat we promptly legged it He also strongly resembles the blue peter presenter Gethin, and setting up experiments before the lesson and saying "here's one I made earlier" has convinced us that he is in fact gethin from blue peter.

Vicci Rishton

Vicci and mr wilkinson have a very special relationship, in that vicci loves him

While camping in the ribble valley, vicci was overcome with excitement as she relaised she was in the same borough as him, and consequenntly fell out of bed

When walking behing vicci, check the detailing on the back of her quicksilver rucksack, i think you'll find that it says "I love mr wilkinson"

Every teacher knows...

After running into Mr Wilkinson on two seperate occasions in ASDA, vicci has decided his shopping day is a thursday, and often goes after school to look out for him

On EVERY comments section in Vicci's homework diary (the bit nobody fills in but teachers and parents are meant to sign) is written a comment such as:

• Vicci loves Wilco
• Wilkinson's "sword"
• Bum me for babies Mr Wilkinson

Luckily Mr King. (Vicci's form teacher who should sign the diaries) doesn't sign the diaries, but he seems to know anyway.

Finally, when Matt was caught knitting with viccis knitting at the back of physics and mr wilkinson confiscated it with the words "I never thought id have to confiscate knitting from a lad" she went to go and collect it from him later on in the day, he had tried to carry on the knitting himself

Hopefully the fun will continue way into next year, as physics lessons have become such a laugh. Vicci isn't the only one to like his looks. Unfortunately Vicci claims that she doesn't fancy Mr Wilkinson any more, as she is going uot with someone called jack (who happens to be Mr Reeves' son). Does anyone else think she has a thing for teachers?

Bob

Mr Wilkinson likes to use the word "bob". He uses it instead of the words "write" and "put", as it "bob that down" and "bob the battery in there" respectively. His year 11 set (11k1) have repeatedly teased him for this, and yet he continues.