Mr Mercer

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Replaced Miss Frazer as Second in Command in the Music Department. Plays piano and clarinet. Has a sense of humour, and is much easier to weasel away from than Miss Roberts on the subject of band/choir/woodwind group/jazz group/senior band attendance. Also does a rather nice dance. He showed his ability to caper during a school concert on various musical composers, and ended up doing a monkey impression for 'Gee Officer Krupkee'. If you didn't see it, you missed out...

He is famous for having a folding forehead while talking, and his quite frankly amazular-tastic skills on any keyboard-related instrument.

Quotes

  • Mercer is well known for having coined the phrase "sexual terrorist"
  • Mercer:i am from rochdale born and bred.
Student:erm i think the term is inbred sir.
  • "Smacked off his tits on drugs" (on the subject of Pete Doherty in General Studies)
  • "I am not, never have been, and never will be a cross-dressing backing singer!"


  • Student: Sir can you do a cart wheel?
  • Mercer: Why?
  • Student: because real men can do cartwheels, prove that your a real man.
  • Mercer: Ok (and does a cartwheel almost kicking the drumkit)
  • No Tom, I would not like to see your weasel.
  • Mercer:We get on like a...

((class stay silent))
Mercer:HOUSE ON FIRE!!

  • "I am not a piece of meat! I have rights!!" (a futile attempt to appeal to his Lower VIth class.)
  • "I'm very dissapointed class!"....Then starts laughing with the rest of the class
  • "You are ACE class!"
  • "Its registration, girls.." Said to three 7N girls whilst running form the music departmenet to 7R to do their registration, but as their form tutor not a student
  • (Telling off his form (2006-07) during a music lesson)

Mr Mercer: Do you know how much negativity is in this room right now? (Class stay silent as a pupil puts his hand up.)

    • Student [Seriously]: Lots

[Class laughs along with Mr Mercer]

(Chaz and Nicola from 8R go up to the music department, and see Mr Mercer ushering a supply teacher into one of the tiny practise rooms, and upon Mr Mercer surfacing:)

  • Chaz:Do The Music Teachers Play 7 Minutes In Heaven in the practise rooms?
    • Mr Mercer:No...whats 7 Minutes IN Heaven? Wait, it's you two, do I WANT to know?

Next day, in a Music Lesson

Nicola:Sir, do you know what 7 minutes in heaven is yet? Mr Mercer:Umm...is this an appropriate topic for this class?

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