Asher Horner

His Life...

Asher Horner (his lankyness) was born on 21st of January 1991, in his life he has accomplished many useless feats and mastered many skills, whether how to balance a spoon on his nose or whether it be how to turn everything Liam Taylor says into a “ya mum” joke.

Appearence

His hair is brown, long, and curly. He is a head above most other people and just incase you're wondering, yes he is rather lanky. In breaks and lunches can be found on the courts. If you see this teen you must slap yourself in amazement.

Skills, And Trademarks

His lankyness' first aim was to master the ancient art of basketball, to this day he has not completed this task so has been deemed a failure by many members of his family (not for not mastering basketball but for insecent rudeness towards them) One of his later tricks was to learn how to spin a basketball on his finge which he mastered in a record 2 days. Since that fateful weekend he has set a trend not only within his form but even in different years. Asher is also well known for his ability to climb any fence on the courts in under 10 seconds. This skill has been used many a time, whether retrieving one of his own basketballs or the pesky year 8's footballs just to lesurely throw to a colleage who would, in turn kick the ball down into Waterfoot never to be seen again. His basketball trademark is to roll the ball along the floor making strange noises consisting of loud, high pitched screeches, which some believe to be an ancient war chant of the lanky people of old...

Other Stuff He's Known For

Another important point to mention is his general disliking to all years below him. Especially the year 8s who repeatedly call him such terrible names as "spagetti head" and "curly wurly freak". This is met by either retaliation through verbal abuse, a proposition of a match, or if in a violent mood, will grab a nearby, half-eaten apple and hurl it at the wire fence so hard it will split into several pieces and reign apply death among all who challenge him. Asher has been known to communicate with such animals as Mrs. Mansfield through various animal noises. His lankyness is also known for his ability to avoid handing in coursework and homework without being punished. His record so far is gettin set english coursework in March of 2006 and to this day it has not been handed in, and yet he is questioned about this coursework most lessons. He is also known for his resourcefulness in finding excuses when underpressure for work. Often using absent school mates to aid in his quest of avoidence.

Stuff He's Said

"I'm dead inside"

"WOW it's a multicoloured tiger!"

"Why is it my arm reaches that far?"

What can only be described as a dolphin noise

"Nya nya nya nya NYA!!!"

"That fence looks reeeeaaally dangerous...i take it i'm climbing it?"

"Gimme a pound and I'll hit Sam's crutches so he falls over in an amusing fashion!!!"

"And the point of quadratic equations is?"

"My punk hair is ace!!! If only the roof of the car was higher..."