Mr Ventress

Head Fashion

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Mr Ventress makes hand signs with his new hat on the West America Trip

What a gay...

Mr Ventress is noted for his affinity for hats and occasionally, period dress. His 'deer-stalker' is probably the rarest of his hats to see, and the most common forms part of his "crème ensemblè". He sported a particularly attractive handlebar moustache in January and February 2006, its first sighting since flying the trenches of Europe in a bi-plane. Regardless of his odd sense of style, Mr Ventress is well liked throughout the school, having a reputation among staff and teachers alike for being funny yet monotonous, and usually in a good way, though occasionally not.

Quotes

• "Don't over-excite yourself"
• "Can anyone tell me what a muff is?" (no response from class except laughter) "It's what girls put their hands in when it's cold"
• "Delicious."

• "It's a brown suit" (Whilst talking about his Ochre suit - certainly not brown)

• Disbelieving tone... "MMMMM...."

e.g. "Sir, I need another sheet of paper."

"MMMMMMMMMM......"

• <Worst Southern American accent ever uttered by a human> <Quote from 'Of Mice and Men'>

• "So, Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee"

• "Estella was a horrid little bitch"

• "If thy wit were shit, then thy'd be constipated" (a poem he read during a lancashire dialect lesson)

In Critical Thinking

• "The answer is D... No I didn't think it was that either..."

• "You've got a D, because the mark scheme said so..."

• "I don't know why you keep getting a D... All I know is that the mark scheme keeps telling me you've put the wrong answers down..."

• again Worst (female) Southern American accent ever uttered by a human - "play me some tunes, granddaddy"