Difference between revisions of "Upper Common Room"

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The upper common room is situated above the [[Lower Common Room]], and is generally held to be the common room to go to if you are (or think you are) cool, hip, "with it" etc. It has two [[pool tables]], which therefore suck twice as much money away; and enjoys the services of a [[canteen]], which the lower one lacks.
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The Upper Common Room was built directly above the [[Lower Common Room]] as a metaphor for the nature of adolescence, or so claims architect [[Sir Norbert Roster]]. The distinguishing feature of this common room, aside from the two [[pool tables]] and [[canteen]], is the lack of anyone that might be characterised by its denizens as 'dirty moshers'.
  
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It is usually quite difficult to get through the room without being sworn at or threatened; and being able to hear yourself speak is a rare occurence. People with claustrophobia are advised not to enter inside!
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==Are you in the Upper Common Room? A self-help guide for the confused==
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* Is the temperature approaching 30 degrees C due to the density of people?
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* Is there an unpleasant smell of tuna bake emanating from a canteen?
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* Have you just tried to exit, but been thwarted by a locked door?
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* Has the same song been played 3 times since you arrived, interspersed by ringtone adverts?
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* Is a person wearing a Pantera hoodie wandering around looking vaguely disconcerted?
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If you answered 'yes' to more than one of the above, you may very well be in the Upper Common Room. Go and get a biscuit while you're there, fattie.
  
 
[[Category:places]]
 
[[Category:places]]

Revision as of 17:49, 2 October 2006

The Upper Common Room was built directly above the Lower Common Room as a metaphor for the nature of adolescence, or so claims architect Sir Norbert Roster. The distinguishing feature of this common room, aside from the two pool tables and canteen, is the lack of anyone that might be characterised by its denizens as 'dirty moshers'.

Are you in the Upper Common Room? A self-help guide for the confused

  • Is the temperature approaching 30 degrees C due to the density of people?
  • Is there an unpleasant smell of tuna bake emanating from a canteen?
  • Have you just tried to exit, but been thwarted by a locked door?
  • Has the same song been played 3 times since you arrived, interspersed by ringtone adverts?
  • Is a person wearing a Pantera hoodie wandering around looking vaguely disconcerted?

If you answered 'yes' to more than one of the above, you may very well be in the Upper Common Room. Go and get a biscuit while you're there, fattie.

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