Difference between revisions of "Robert Pilling"

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One of the most lanky of the 6th formers around, Rob is now a benchmark for appaulingly bad jokes. This is one of the few things that he prides himself on, especially his made-up ones.
 
  
 
= Rob Pilling =
 
 
Rob Pilling is, in short, a ''"genius"''. His ability to come up with a joke (of varying degrees of quality ranging from "gut-wrenchingly hilarious" to "down-right appalling") at short notice is the most famous branch of his ability. He is affectionaly know as a nice fellow, some may say man, due to his friendly mannar and the common means he uses to make new acquaintances (raising his thumb and grinning at said person across a crowded room). Other aliases under which Rob has gone include "Silent Bob", "Well Endowed", "Semi", "Semi M<sup>C</sup>P", "Rob-and-Pillage" and "Hey Get Your Lanky Self Away From Me".
 
 
Also Rob has an infallible ability to sneak into any picture ever taken. Some examples follow. --->
 
 
A Link to *drumroll please*, "[[Rob_Pilling%27s_Maths_Jokes|Rob's Maths Lesson Jokes]]".
 
 
[[Image:Lennypink.jpg|thumb|Example 1-Rob tactically interupting a picture of lenny while trying to get his Pink Hat back.]]
 
[[Image:Example2.jpg|thumb|Example 2-Rob at the Leavers Do, displaying his incredibly lanky finger.]]
 
[[Image:Rob meets hitler.JPG|thumb|Example 3-Rob amazed many when he told of how he had met Hitler (appearently the two never got on well).]]
 
[[Image:King harold dies at hasting.jpg|thumb|Example 4-Rob Depicted in the Bayeux Tapestry, at the Battle of Hastings, 1066.]]
 
[[Image:Space_Rob.jpg|thumb|Example 5-Contrary to Popular Belif, Rob Actually Beat Yuri Gagarin in the Space Race.]]
 
[[Image:Mona_lisa.jpg|thumb|Example 6-Rob was actually edited out of the final edition of the Mona Lisa, but here is the original, with Rob in it.]]
 
 
= Jokes =
 
 
Some of the jokes listed bellow are Rob's and he likes them:
 
 
 
*''Rob'': "Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize?"
 
 
(bemused look from all who heard him)
 
 
''Rob'': "Because he was outstanding in his field!"
 
 
 
 
*''Rob'': "What did the constipated mathematician do?"
 
 
''Crowd'': "Hmm, I dont know!"
 
 
''Rob'': "He worked it out with a pencil."
 
 
''Crowd'': "Eeew." (Except a small niche of the lower common room crew who are rolling around on the floor.)
 
 
 
 
A recent addition to Rob's favourite jokes is:
 
 
*''Rob'': "What did Spock find in the Enterprise's toilet?"
 
 
''Small Group of Friends/Sympathisers who remain'': "Go on..."
 
 
''Rob'': "The Captain's Log!"
 
 
''Small Group of Friends/Sympathisers who remain'': "Right, we're off"
 
Rob is now left deserted. *Tumbleweed Floats Past*
 
 
 
And what is described as a "side splitter" by one Joseph Burrow;
 
 
*''Rob'': "What is Jaws' Grandfather called?"
 
 
''12DX Set'': *sigh* "Go on..."
 
 
''Rob'': "Gums!"
 
 
 
Rob is also a member of the 12DX maths set, and, to the delight of its occupants, has told a joke every single lesson, since the beginning of term, without fail, to the group who sit on the right hand side in Room M2 or whatever its called. [[Rob_Pilling%27s_Maths_Jokes|Here]] is a fully compiled list of those jokes. (Except a few which are lost in the mists of time)
 
 
 
= More Facts =
 
 
*Contrary to popular belif, Rob has never actually had a girlfriend, despite his handsome looks, and charming aroma.
 
*He is currently 6"4', however this measurement was taken a few weeks ago, so it could have increased since then...
 
*Rob can usually be found either in bed, at school or playing Half Life mods/other general games depending on the time of day.
 
*Rob has never been in the [[Upper Common Room]] apart from in Assemblies, and is currently planning a complex plan which envolves a guy, a thing, a rubber chicken suit and quite a large crane, so he can steal a pool table for the [[Lower Common Room]], since they only have one.
 
 
 
= Common Occurances =
 
 
*Rob likes to tell the same joke over and over and over and over again. One of the most famous of these has been known to drive [[Steven Albertson]] to the brink of insanity in a two year period of [[Maths]] lessons as they shared the same set...
 
 
''Rob'': "Hey wanna to hear a joke?"
 
 
''Steven'': "Alright then."
 
 
''Rob'': "What do you call a sleeping bull?"
 
 
''Steven'': "I don't know; what do you call a slepping bull?"
 
 
''Rob'': "A Bulldozer."
 
 
Although a joke of Rob's usually genius standard over two years of continuous use of this joke for every [[Maths]] lesson the telling of this joke fell to this...
 
 
''Rob'': "Hey wanna to hear a joke?"
 
 
''Steven'': "Erm..."
 
 
''Rob'': "What do you call a..."
 
 
''Steven'': "Aaarrrggghhh!"
 
 
At which point Rob is caught in the midst of an ineffable rage of fury eminating from the enraged [[Steven Albertson]].
 
 
 
 
*Another infuritaing thing that Rob has discovered is that calculators are there to annoy and prolong his [[Maths]] lesson.
 
After typing...
 
5÷12 or 5/12
 
(or any random fraction) into a calculator, the calculator replies with the exact same answer
 
5/12
 
and Rob can be heard "rargh" in his frustration as he attacks the calculator.
 
 
 
= Subjects =
 
 
Rob goes to school as a happy chappy, as he enjoys all of his subjects.
 
*[[Computing]]
 
*[[Physics]]
 
*[[Chemistry]]
 
*[[Maths]]
 
 
One of Rob's most legendary tales begins in one maths lesson.
 
 
Mrs Gregson: "Do this that and the other for homework."
 
 
Rob, clearly misunderstanding [[Mrs_Gregson|The Gregson]], accidentally did all of next lesson's work for homework. When he turned up next lesson, and [[Mrs_Gregson|Mrs Gregson]] set the work, upon discovering that he had already done it all, he skillfully sat there and did nothing, apart from occasionally ask [[Jonathan Parton|Jonny (Nova)]]: "Did you get 5 for that answer?" or "That was a tough question wasn't it?" to keep up the facade of him doing work. This, in addition to [[Mrs_Gregson|Mrs Gregson's]] lecturing of Nova about his "slapdash" work, almost killed [[Joseph Burrow|Joe Burrow]], by asphyxiation, as he could not control his laughter.
 
 
 
= Quotes =
 
 
* "Who wants to hear a joke?"
 
* *shakes fist*
 
* i see
 
 
 
[[Category:Sixth Formers|Pilling, Rob]]
 
[[Category:Student Legends|Pilling, Rob]]
 
[[Category:Legends]]
 

Revision as of 05:42, 24 November 2010