Difference between revisions of "Studaism"

Latest revision as of 21:07, 12 January 2009

Studaism is a religion founded by Stuart Locke, widely regarded as one of the strangest people you will ever meet... Anywhere, although he disagrees with this because "he's sexy, not strange (much)". The name is a combination of the religion Judaism and his name Stubert or nickname Stuart. Stubert is one of the many Gods of this religion, and George Barnes is one of the Converters.

Studaism is the religion behind Red Gummy Bear Massacre Day. R.G.B.M.D. Happens because The Fungal King is not a vengeful God but the bears defiled him in a way unspeakable, so fellow God Stubert decided he would take it upon himself to slay 10 of these beasts a year on the weekday closest to the 8th of March (no one knows the significance of the date, but it is also national smoking awareness day!).

One of the aspects of Studaism is anti-vegetarianism, Stubert has released several posters against these people. Stubert believes that vegetarians are eating the earths trees (?!) and this leads to him thinking they are the cause of global warming... which he doesn't actually believe in. Another aspect is that the trees must be destroyed as they are stealing our precious carbon dioxide, but they must not be eaten or else you are as bad as the vegetarians and are causing global warming. Confused? So are most people.

Stubert also believes that all months should end in "ary": January, Febuary, Marchary, Aprilary... ect. Since "the moon doesn't exist" a new monthing (?) system has to be invented for studaisim to have a calendar. And while we're talking about the sky there are only 5 suns/stars but lots of big mirrors in space, so it LOOKS like there's lots of stars.

Once a peice of one of The Fungal Kings' earthly beings had a peice ripped off, the remaining part then "pissed" (excreeted a yellow liquid). Then in days later the removed chunk began to "relive" (apparently), sort of like a Jesus power. Another ripped off chunk bled and scabbed over, proving him unusual fungal powers. The Fungal King also managed to grow a "mouth" which then ate a stick that was inserted. Pissing, scabbing and eating are just a few of the fungal kings divine powers.

It is possible to be excommunicated from Studaism, but only Tom Rhodes has managed it (twice), and nobody can remember what he did (the first time) (the second time was for eating 'shrooms).

Here is an ever expanding list of Gods and Saints of Studaism (updated by Stubert when he remembers a co-gods' name):

• The Fungal King (God) - High King of the Gods
• Stubert (God) - God of Smurfs, being sexy, most small stuff, R.G.B.M.D, and carnivorism
• Simon (God) - The God of destiny (no one knows who this "Simon" actually is... Including Stubert)
• Spam (God) - God of processy goodness/crap food
• C'thulu (God) - God of the underworld (should be praised 'cos he's nice really, just misunderstood, and he takes "nasties" away from this world)
• Alan (God) - God of purple
• Lemmy (God) - God of motorhead, facial hair and warts, sex and the ideal lifestyle

• Hat (Saint) - Saint of bad hair cuts and hats

Another interesting thing to note is that there is more written about Studaism on BRGS wiki than Stubert himself...