Mrs Weir

Quotes

"Pretty colours"

"That's right"

"Can anyone tell me?"

"Use your imagination, it's purple*" (*when it is clearly a murky orange colour)

• "Give it a swirl"

Whilst showing off experiments

"So, you can see that lovely blue colour" (when it's clearly colourless still)

--

"Right, the ammonia should be turning this a pretty colour pink (holding test tube to class)

(20 seconds later)

Ahh, maybe it wasn't ammonia I put in... Normally I can smell it by now (puts test tube to nose)

cough cough WHEEZE.... Well I think we've established it WAS ammonia..."

--

(Whilst doing the Sulphuric experiments in Y12) "Normally it gives off a smell of rotten eggs... but I can't smell anything.... I seem to remember it's one of those where if you can't smell it it's starting to poison you...." (puts beaker to nose)

"Wooooo *cough* that certainly does *cough* smell of rotten eggs doesn't it... we 'll just put that in the fume cupboard..."

Alcohols

[Standing at front of class with equipment for experiments] "Alcohols" (PAUSE)

Member of Class - "Annnnd"

Mrs Weir - "BURNING them."

The Idea Is...

Mrs Weir is particularly noted for her insistence of uttering the eternal words "The idea is" at every opportune and inopportunte moment, and holds a record of 14 in 40 minutes. When correcting students' work, the phrase mutates into "This is the idea".

This has given birth to the ever classic 'The Idea is...' game. The rules are simple: whenever Mrs Weir utters the words "the idea is", you hit the person nearest to you. Caution must be used while playing this game, especially if you enter into the leagues with the elite players, who are now able to hit the nearest living thing when the phrase is mentioned without even thinking. The game can become quite violent, with players getting carried away in the moment, and emerging from their chemistry lessons covered in bruises and scars. You have been warned!

Recently, the amount of times the words "the idea is" has been uttered has not faltered, infact she almost successfully beat her own personal best with 13 in 45 minutes on Friday 7th April. However, in a rare lesson, on Friday 19th May, the catchphrase was only uttered once...

Until recently Mrs Weir was completely unaware of her "Catchphrase", and that a game existed of trying to see who could count the most. Now she is torturing herself and can feel "some kind of hysteria bubbling up inside" whenever she knows she is about to say it. Her fears that she ALWAYS said it were relieved when we told her of the famous "M'Kay" count which stands at 275 in one lesson, to which she said "Oh, Good! Thank goodness I'm not THAT bad!"

Variations on the game

"Pretty Colours" game - Once these words are said, everyone should cough as loudly as physically possible, which is used to great effect during experiments as she thinks she is poisoning you..

Writing "The Idea Is" game - an unofficial addition, but valid nonetheless. If the phrase "the idea is" is actually written on the whiteboard during the course of a lesson, you must instantly punch your neighbour in the face as hard as you can...

"Counting" game - involved counting and recording number of times she said it every lesson. The end result? A certificate presented to Mrs Weir in our final lesson proclaiming that she had been recorded saying the phrase 314 times over 44 lessons.

Tests

(During a test) " A minute or two more - to make some more answers up"

Hand Movements

Mrs Weir also has a tendancy to speak with her hands in a 'gangster rap' style, often seen whilst discussing a topic when the class is gathered at the front of the class.

Mrs Weir vs. The Photocopier - Round 1

Mrs Weir also has many memorable tussles with the photocopier; which usually result in any sheets/tests back-to-front and upside-down. After one particularly funny Lower VIth lesson, Lenny made this Flash animation!. See the website for the full details.

The jist of the story is thus; Mrs Weir one wet autumn afternoon needed to photocopy some sheets for her lovly Lower IVth sets, so she ventured down into the basement ann entered the photocopier room , as Mrs Weir entered the photocopier pounced and a tussle ensued with the photocopier emerging the victor as Mrs Weir retreated back to her lab.

Some time later Mrs Weir decided to return to 'Nam, as she now caled the basement, ready for the battle that lay ahead. She had her trusty goggles and protective lab coat along with an asortment of automatic weppons to tackle the dreaded PHOTOCOPIER.

She crept slowly toward the photocopier room door using lockers and walls as cover to remain undetected by the evil machine. She burst through the door and imeadietly fired upon the hoard of photocopiers that had amased knowing that a counter attack was likly from and enraged chemist such as Mrs Weir. For second after second the machines held there own before finaly being defeted. And so the photocopiers reign of terror was ended. to leve a void which was soon filled by none other than ......

To Be Continued

Durham.