Difference between revisions of "School Network"

Revision as of 10:29, 22 June 2009

The BRGS school network is carefully managed by a very dedicated Mrs King and meticulously maintained by unknown representatives of an unknown external IT solutions company - [probably Microshaft] who are also believed responsible for IT systems in 95% of all schools in the Lancashire area.

Stability

• This feat of modern architecture, also known as the school network is normally more stable than Windows 95 and has been recently downgraded from Windows XP due to security fears.

• The School System has in-built failsafe automatically closes down the system whenever Technology deadlines are looming, just for a laugh...

• It is a well known fact that when the school system is said to have "gone down", the school system is still actually functioning well, but the Administrators have just decided to add another security measure to prevent the system from being "hacked"

• The system still runs on Internet Explorer, and as a result half a lesson is spent closing pop-ups, whereby this could be rightly avoided with the simple use of Mozilla Firefox; a far superior browser with similar functionality and appearance to IE. In the Past the IT Administrators did attempt to install this on several computers, but due to the fact they cant add security restrictions to Firefox, they removed it, but the few pupils who managed to use Firefox in school, couldn't get enough, and downloaded it at home, knowing it wouldn't last long in school...

• A common feature of all "computer lessons" was the teacher hosting the lesson having to ring the IT department, usually because the students couldn't log on.

Pop Ups... OF DEATH

• A well used feature from about 2006 onwards was the IT techs sending a pop up to your computer, along the lines of "I can see what you're doing, stop it". While undeniably successful, it did make all students feel like a criminal while using Hotmail for LEGITIMATE work, lest the IT techs block you.

Paranoia

• Did you know that your every move is logged while at school? Why is this? It's quite obvious that 98.6% of all internet access is to sneakily check Hotmail so they aren't doing a particularly good job! (The other 1.4% being hackers from outside the school who are trying to gain access to the network, hence the "Fort Knox" security levels)

• Even the ability to right-click with a mouse has been removed. Just think of the damage that students could do with this simple function being enabled. They would be able to right-click all over the place, and wreak havok with the school sub-systems, and bring down the whole network. It is a good job that they decided to disabled right-clicking, otherwise, I would fear for the safety of the school users.

• It is a well known fact among the few students of the 6th Form Computing Sets that Mrs King and Mrs Shufflebottom are highly paranoid about being "hacked". Precicely what the is to hack in the school system remains unknown. Perhaps embarrassing pictures of drunken teachers...

• Due to this paranoia, the two Administrators have set everyone's account on the school network to the lowest possible, preventing people from typing in address bars, to hiding the root drives on the computers. Even the teacher's accounts have been limited.

• Teachers have revealed insights into what was once an impenetrable school network, showing that every teacher, and those ranking above teachers have access to a program which allows the user to see exactly what is going on on a student's "workstation", and they also have the ability to take control, and thus terrify the student into thinking his/her computer has become possessed.

• After the 2006 summer holiday, students returned to find that the 'Admins' have futher increased the fortress that is the school network, after working endlessly over the Holiday, the Admins had come up with yet more security systems, making the network comparable to Fort Knox.

Useless

• Unfortunately, the degree of security imposed on the system has made it incredibly difficult to get any academic-related work done, as any website you may have found helpful to your work, you will find it too, has been blocked.